Build Bridges – Structures We Sorely Need Right Now

Rory Gilbert, M.Ed., SPHR, SHRM-SCP on October 15, 2018

We are living in a very difficult time where we are viewing the world from polar extremes.  This becomes a challenge in the workplace where even a hint of one’s political affiliation may be enough to impact a work relationship, damaging trust, confidence and credibility. Many of us were raised with instructions never to discuss religion or politics in public settings…and this is one way to avoid problems.  But perhaps we’ve been damaged by this rule…where we only talk about our beliefs (religion, politics, etc.) with like-minded people, and we only get our news/input from like-minded media outlets.
By doing this, we remain comfortable and secure in our own world view and those that do not agree are “the other.”  How does this fit with what we know about productivity, innovation and risk management in the workplace which rely on encouraging diverse perspectives? For these diverse perspectives to be effectively utilized, we need to learn to be able to listen, suspend judgments and be open to possibilities.  And the data indicate that companies that master this are ultimately the most profitable.
We know these skills are learnable.  They are not mysterious…but they do require a willingness to try something different. What would happen if we committed to using these same skills to bridge the divides that are causing so much pain in our world today?  What would happen if we took the time to:

  • Actively listen – hear what the other person is saying and confirm that what you think you heard is what they said. When people feel heard they are more willing to seek understanding as well – even if we do not agree.
  • Suspend judgment – don’t prepare your rebuttal while they are talking – consider the possibility that they have a reason for their point of view (that they are not a (insert your favorite denigrating term here for someone who doesn’t agree with you).
  • Be open to possibilities – what if they actually said something that made sense – how could you fold that into your belief system without it crumbling like a house of cards?

We know that it is easier to do these steps with people we care about and in fact, when we understand where people are coming from, their story, we hold them with respect and compassion.
So perhaps we need to start with a new first step – first hear people’s stories. Use active listening, suspending judgment and being open to possibilities as we learn more about how someone came to be where they are…and they can learn how we came to our place as well.
Stories bring us together, they build empathy, trust and compassion…they build bridges – structures we sorely need right now.
Emily Esfahani Smith, author of The Power of Meaning, began her studies researching what makes people happy.  She discovered that happiness is just transitory comfort and ease.  What provides people with resilience, strength and satisfaction is meaning and she defined four pillars to living a life of fulfillment and meaning.  They are belonging, purpose, transcendence and storytelling.
I see these pillars operating to help us not only find our own meaning but to share in a larger sense of meaning in this world.  I spent a number of years as a member of a local Rotary club.  There were only about 20 of us in this particular club so we knew each other pretty well and we came from very different political, religious and other perspectives…and we knew it.  However, we were all committed to making the world a better place.  We ascribed to slogans like “Peace through service.”  We joined together to help at-risk youth, to support the annual Veteran’s Day parade, to support literacy, feed the hungry, and ensure folks got dental care…and we supported global projects to bring clean water to remote communities and to eradicate polio.
This was amazing work!  We found meaning and purpose together.  And we spent time learning about each other.  Once a month, a member was invited to tell their story – both professional and personal.  Suddenly an 80-year-old retiree was a daring fighter pilot again, a 25-year-old “kid” was a courageous peace corps volunteer, we learned more about the police commander, the healthcare worker and the immigrant. Each of us emerged as whole, complex human beings.
It takes time and effort, it takes desire to know our neighbors and not hide away.
Imagine how telling our stories can bring us closer to belonging as we learn to understand each other, how we might find shared purpose in our lives and transcend our small divided viewpoints for a broader and more promising whole.
If you’d like a chance to explore meaning and purpose in community, consider joining us on November 9th for the 12 Annual Leadership Summit.  Share in conversation with some 70 other curious, courageous and unlike minded people to find a way of Being on Purpose.  Click here to find out more information.
 
 

Leading intentionally – a life-long learning process

Dustin Fennell on September 17, 2018

Guest contributor – Dr. Jan Gehler
Dr. Jan Gehler retired from the Presidency of Scottsdale Community College in August of this year.  Thunderbird Leadership has been privileged to work and collaborate with her during her tenure and asked her to share her reflections on the work of leadership as she moves on to the next chapter of her life.
Planning for and executing a process for individual and team development requires a belief in the importance of life-long learning. A successful executive understands – and models – learning as a basic skill.  As educators we continually affirm the importance of such learning for our students and staff, but sadly we often ‘don’t get around to it for ourselves,’ and by extension for our leadership team . The higher the level of position we hold, the more confidence we gain, the easier it is to eschew formal learning or the wisdom of others. As in every other area of leadership, we must ‘model the way.’
Within a leader’s ‘life-long-learning’ curriculum is the task of becoming self-aware.  When we ARE self-aware, we constantly assess our thoughts and actions against the audience, the environment, the issues. Where do we need to step up and assert, where do we need to hold back, listen, trust others and wait? For some, this ‘sense’ of how we best lead is instinctive; for others, it must be learned, and yet for others, it’s a combination of learning to ‘trust’ one’s gut, coupled with the skills and understanding gained through experience, through formal and informal learning. It can be difficult, amid the noise of the moment and the competing ‘styles’ that give way to conflicting opinions and direction, to pick up the ‘cues’ for best action or decisions. The practice that comes with formal and informal learning can make the path through tough decisions, if not easier, at least simpler and more familiar.
Over many years as an education administrator, I’ve come to know myself pretty well. I am clear about the source of the values, habits and practices that I learned from my family of origin. I am a classic middle child, driven instinctively to find peace and balance. I have also learned that I am able to work inductively and deductively; most people have strengths in one direction. I can work both ways, and I often take the time to do that when considering important decisions or trying to solve complex problems; my approach can frustrate others who think more linearly. I came to this awareness over years spent in learning about myself, about what constitutes effective leadership, how to build and support an exceptional leadership team, i.e. through life-long learning.
Recognizing my own ‘needs and style,’ the profiles of my leadership team, the needs of the institution, the political environment, etc. there are several standard thinking processes that I’ve employed. If I have any advice for up-coming leaders, it would include:

  1. devote time, energy and resources to individual and team development;
  2. take time individually and as a team to ask “what if” questions, to explore all options and creative, if not crazy ideas;
  3. examine every decision, solution, proposal by viewing it through a series of lenses, asking yourself and your team ‘are there implications for HR, for IT, for PR, for budget, for other divisions, in this decision, this strategy?’;
  4. pause long enough to consider the generational question, i.e. what are the second and third waves of effect of this decision? Always consider the PR implications for the students, the faculty, the institution, the community, your partners, etc. Think this through yourself and ask your team to discuss their answers openly.

I am a high “S” (using the DiSC profiles) which means I take the time I need to think through these questions. I tend to think through the ‘worst case’ and then determine if I/we can live with that; if so or if we can mitigate the challenges, then presto, we move forward. Needless-to-say my “D” and “I” (action-oriented) colleagues can grow weary of my style. But over the years, they have taught me to move more quickly, as I have taught them to move more thoughtfully (for the longer term). We have learned together how best to lead together and found executive team development to be an invaluable tool.
When it is well done, executive team development provides individuals with new insights about their own skills, their own knowledge (what they know and what they need to learn) and as important, perspective/attitude. How do you think of your role as an administrator among other administrators? Back to the lenses!  Your role is not unilateral. It requires seeing from all perspectives. It is stewardship. You have affirmed by taking the position to do as much as you can to help the organization achieve its mission. Individual and team development is an essential strategy to achieve that mission.
The group work is uncomfortable by design – we are called to dig deep and share; remember the old group development idea? – forming, storming, norming, performing.  We have gone through that trajectory – AND it has to happen every time the constellation changes.
Frankly, it is fun to learn and grow together.  It is fun to have discoveries of what we are and aren’t doing.  A good facilitator will call us on our stuff – to have moments, if we are paying attention, that increase self-awareness. I don’t know an administrator who doesn’t need that to avoid being blinded by our ego, our title and our successes.
– Dr. Jan Gehler
 
 

The Resilient Nurse Leader Coaching Series: An Interview with Amy Steinbinder

Rory Gilbert, M.Ed., SPHR, SHRM-SCP on August 20, 2018

The healthcare industry continues to be faced with so many interacting challenges: rising costs, unstable funding, sustaining an adequate, engaged and experienced workforce, creating a positive patient experience, ensuring high reliability and implementing innovation. Thunderbird Leadership’s Managing Partner, Amy Steinbinder, PhD, RN, NE-BC, agreed to tell us about her work supporting nurse leaders during these turbulent times.  Amy describes it this way, “demands within the nursing profession and within the healthcare industry are constantly in whitewater.  All the rapids are a 10 right now.”
Amy asked herself, “How do you maintain your balance and sense of self when things are literally swirling all around you?” And her answer was to develop the Resilient Nurse Leader Coaching Series. “I’d like to be able to assist people to strengthen their own leadership and resiliency – with the goal of personal and professional resilience while achieving career aspirations.”
Why only nurse leaders, why not others in the health care profession?
The Resilient Nurse Leader Coaching Series is focused and targeted because nurse leaders have a tremendous amount of expertise and operational influence in directing patient care delivery. At the same time, there is this growing level of burnout among nurses. The Resilient Nurse Leader Coaching Series supports nurse leaders who then support the thousands of nurses who impact hundreds of thousands of patients every day!”
Amy described a current client who is dealing with the complexity of implementing new technologies and adding building locations while still sustaining high reliability patient care, getting people paid and adapting to continuous innovation and change.  She said, “leaders are not only stretched thin but on a stretching rack – pulled in so many directions. How do they maintain their own core strength so they can be effective in their personal and professional lives?”
What does the Resilient Nurse Leader Coaching Series offer?
The Resilient Nurse Leader Coaching Series offers individual coaching sessions to help Nurse Leaders improve their effectiveness while maintaining personal balance.

  • Coaching will explore executive nurse competencies “to help nurse leaders identify where they are and where they want to be to be effective.”
  • Coaching is an iterative process of learning, applying and reflecting.
  • The process will use a variety of modalities to tap inner wisdom and creativity to gain mastery of the competencies to support the leader’s own leadership style.
  • Leaders will come away with new ideas and defined strategies that they can implement immediately.

What does the coaching look like?

  • Nurse leaders participate in six individual coaching sessions over three months.
  • Sessions are held every two weeks.
  • The first session is 90 minutes and subsequent sessions are 60 minutes.
  • Sessions explore the values that drive the leader’s work and provide the motivation to keep on pressing forward.

“I want to help people identify what they value most in their professional lives, what they want their legacy to be, what they want career wise.” 
What I hear you saying is that for nurse leaders, the coaching time is critically important to ensure clarity of mind, clarity of direction, and strength to keep moving forward.
Amy shared a note she received from a nurse leader she coaches: “Amy, you have no idea how helpful this is and how much I look forward to our time together.”
Tell us about the competencies? Why focus on these?
“These competencies came from the literature.”  In 2004, the Healthcare Leadership Alliance developed Nurse Executive Competencies that are considered foundational for today’s nurse leaders. They have been revisited and are still relevant.[1]
In 2016, Amy and a small group of content experts[2] convened to identify which of all the competencies would be most impactful for a nurse leader over a career in today’s and tomorrow’s healthcare environment. Their combined experience as Nursing Executives, CEO’s, Chief Integration Officers, COO’s and consultants to large scale organizational change provided them with inside and outside perspectives on the future of healthcare leadership. They identified five competencies they thought were most critical.
Amy briefly described the five competencies.
Resilience — The ability to maintain energy, focus and perspective during high stress, situational ambiguity and insurmountable challenges.

“Yes! the ability to maintain energy, focus and perspective no matter what is going on! The ability to learn quickly and recover quickly from things that go wrong – because they do, and they will.”

Advocacy — The ability to influence, champion, articulate, inspire, and enlist others to do the right thing at all levels.

“…Not just for patients and staff, but for the providers in the organization and the organization itself; really ensuring that the nurse leader is doing the right things for all of these constituencies.  They have to have in depth knowledge of so many disciplines beyond just clinical practice.”

Engagement — The ability to actively apply values of caring and respect, along with skills of communicating warmth and genuine interest in others, to promote trust with individuals and teams.

Leading engagement has become critically important for day to day results.  It is easy for any of us to lose our way.  How do we keep people energized and excited no matter how hard the work is? How do we promote and build trust, appealing to both the heart and head?

Executive Presence – The ability to engage, connect and influence others.

Organizations are experiencing so much change and so many people are involved.  How does a nurse leader establish her own presence in assisting people to becoming engaged? As a leader, how do you stay calm under pressure, maintain curiosity and remain optimistic?

Minding the Gap — The ability to recognize and attend to the dynamic tension between innovation and the untested with high reliability and a preoccupation with failure.

The most interesting one for me is “minding the gap.”  In every organization there is so much that is occurring, so much is untested. How do you balance the untested, the innovation, at the same time as we focus on high reliability? This requires being aware of what can fail, what failure looks like and watching for early warning signs, subtle flags that alert you to potential failure. So individual teams and organizations can respond quickly and move forward.

 Nurse leaders need to be asking questions – such as if we failed in this project, what would have had to happen…so you can back it up – to look at what we need to be paying attention to; having agreement on what we would do, how we would address red flags if they emerged. This does not mean we think we are going to fail, but we are preoccupied with what could go wrong – so we can be timely in response…going back to resilience so you can learn and recover quickly.

What do you bring to the coaching experience?
I am a Certified Executive Coach and Integrated Health Coach with over 30 years of healthcare leadership experience including experience conducting workshops and facilitating individual and group learning to achieve personal and organizational results.
Why is this so important to you?
The biggest reason is that healthcare is in crisis. It impacts all of us. We are all on either side of the healthcare divide…as providers and as patients at any one time. 
How can people learn more about the series?
Click here to visit The Resilient Nurse Leader page at Thunderbird Leadership Consulting.
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[1] American Organization of Nurse Executives. (2015). AONE Nurse Executive Competencies. Chicago, IL: Author. Accessed at: www.aone.org
Accessible at: http://www.aone.org/resources/nurse-leader-competencies.shtml
Stefl, M, Common Competencies for All Healthcare Managers: The Healthcare Leadership Alliance Model. Journal of Healthcare Management. November/December 2008: 360-374.
Gerardi D, Using Coaches and Mentors to Develop Resilient Nurse Leaders in Complex Environments. Voice of Nursing Leadership. July, 2017: 8-12.
Waxman KT, Roussel L, Herrin-Griffith D, D’Alfonso J, The AONE Nurse Executive Competencies: 12 Years Later. Nurse Leader. April, 2017: 120-126.
[2] Dr. Kathy Scott, RN PhD, FACHE, Colleen Hallberg, RN MSN, Amy Steinbinder RN, PhD, NE-BC in consultation with expert colleagues across the country.
 
 

The Butterfly Effect

Rory Gilbert, M.Ed., SPHR, SHRM-SCP on July 16, 2018

I was a philosophy major as an undergraduate and for my senior thesis I found myself wrestling with determinism v. free will. Are we on a pre-planned course? Do we have the capacity to change the world? My answer at the time was that everything is in effect determined by all that has come before, that we are on a track rolling toward our destiny, but we still must choose our course based on what we know and feel at the time to be right, and that is, in effect, free will.
So, who would think some xx years later, I’d read a small statement that brought me back to those heady college days.

Butterfly Effect
The scientific theory that a single occurrence,
no matter how small,
can change the course of the universe
forever.

This concept emerges from chaos theory[i] and challenges my notion of determinism.  Chaos theory proposes that in complex systems, small changes can have unpredicted effects.  That is why weather prediction, while getting more accurate, still remains a matter of probabilities… or predicting the stock market, election results, etc. And interestingly, in research, we know that just having an observer can influence the outcome.
So, this got me to thinking about my coaching and organizational development work.  I thought about DiSC™ styles. DiSC™ identifies four different ways healthy people approach the world (in various combinations) as ways we can better understand ourselves and others. One of the key elements it explores is sense of control. Some of us tend to think we control our world (let me lead) and others that we must respond to our world (let me prepare).
Those that think we control our world tend to be action oriented, decisive and fast-paced.  I associated that with the concept of free-will, creating one’s destiny. Those that think we must respond to what the world hands us tend to be more analytical, deliberative and more moderate-paced. I associated that with the concept of determinism, having to accept what happens.
The Butterfly effect suggests that we all have impact whether we are aware of it or not – that how I act or even if I act is a choice that impacts my world. I sometimes feel very small, unimportant and of little value. I can convince myself that whether I take action, donate to a cause, speak up or stand up will make little difference. But the Butterfly Effect reminds me that I what I do or don’t do makes a difference.  We are all interconnected, and our actions matter even when we don’t know it.
Heraclitus stated, “The only constant is change.” This was true some 2500 years ago, and is even more so, now. Our world is complex, rapidly changing, and only somewhat predictable…so let me do as much as I can to prepare (responding to the world) and then step up (creating our destiny) as I need to.
How do I prepare? I keep current on what is happening in my world, in my sphere of influence.  I consider possibilities and probabilities and what resources and actions might be required. I also consider my values, my priorities and sense of purpose so that I base my course of action on what is important.
How do I step up and lead? I use all my preparation to allow thoughtful and meaningful decisions in the time frame that is required.  I avoid knee jerk reactions or being immobilized because I was not prepared.
And I whether I tend to be more action or preparation oriented, I find trusted people in my world who complement my strengths and skills and join me in actions and decisions…without always knowing the results of our actions and decisions. And I accept the fact that the end results may not be what I thought they would be.
In my first career, I was a youth and family counselor.  I provided prevention and early intervention work to middle school students. I met with a group of 7th grade girls to help them adjust to adolescence and middle school. One of the girls never spoke in the group and I wondered why she kept coming and doubted anything we did was making a difference.  Some four years later, I was walking down the halls of a high school when a young woman approached me and called me by name.  It was this same young woman, now a confident and successful junior in high school.  I told her that I was surprised she recognized me and she said something I will never forgot. “I remember everyone who tried to help me.”
So, consider the Butterfly Effect in human behavior as well as in the physical world. Every day we make choices about where we put our energy, how we behave, what we do…and what we think.  We make a difference in our world mindfully or heedlessly.
On November 9th, Thunderbird Leadership will be sponsoring our 12th Annual Leadership Summit, Being on Purpose: Small Enough to Manage, Big Enough to Matter. We’ll be exploring how we can intentionally impact our world from our own little spot on our own little planet.  For more information go to: http://thunderbirdleadership.com/event/12th-annual-leadership-summit-being-on-purpose
“Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences.”  – Eckhart Tolle
[i] For a brief introduction to the Butterfly Effect and Chaos Theory check out: https://www.americanscientist.org/article/understanding-the-butterfly-effect
https://www.forbes.com/sites/startswithabang/2018/02/13/chaos-theory-the-butterfly-effect-and-the-computer-glitch-that-started-it-all/#58b6d90269f6
 
 

When the Going Gets Rough: Turn to Wonder

Rory Gilbert, M.Ed., SPHR, SHRM-SCP on June 15, 2018

We have been conditioned to believe in a direct link between action and reaction, cause and effect.  Something happens (you do something) and I respond. This leads us to think we do not have control over our reactions to our environment…you made me mad! You hurt my feelings!
What we know however, is that context influences our reactions.  In psychology there is an entire therapeutic practice based on this – cognitive-behavioral therapy.  It is premised on the concept that between cause and effect is my interpretation of the situation…and this influences my response.
A dear friend of mine has often said, “When you love someone, you can tolerate just about anything…once you fall out of love, the way they brush their teeth can make you crazy.”
I used to carpool with a friend who had a baby daughter.  Towards the end of the work day, she got a call from the sitter that her little one started spiking a fever.  My friend called the doctor and was told the office would squeeze them in if they could get there by 5:30. We left the office immediately and hurried to the sitter. Of course, it was rush hour and there was road construction. A lane on the road was closed up ahead and everyone was merging. How would we make it on time? I am not sure of your attitude toward the people who whiz by you when the lane is ending, but I have always considered them selfish, arrogant, pushy… And yet, I opted to zip down that merge lane to the very end to save us precious time…and someone graciously let me back in!  We made it to the sitter and my friend and her sweet baby made it to the doctor’s office on time!
Why do I share this story?  It is about context.  Now when people are whizzing by me in the merge lane, I stop myself from getting upset and wonder where they might be hurrying to, what might be going on in their lives.
When things get rough, turn to wonder. The Center for Courage and Renewali developed touchstones for their Circles of Trust, one of which is the focus of this month’s blog entry.  “When the going gets rough, turn to wonder.” ii
Rather than create and act on my own understanding about what is happening, why people are doing what they are doing, what their motivations might be, I can step back and reflect. If I assume most people have good reasons for their behavior, what could they be?
Most people are able to defend their actions.  I don’t have to agree with their justification or decision, but how does it impact my reaction if I at least understand why they are doing what they are doing. Does it soften my response? Do I have a chance of building relationship rather than destroying it? Can my understanding bring us closer, rather than increase distance?
My challenge is to discipline myself to take that step back and consider alternative explanations. I aspire to be open minded and a life-long learner. The practice of turning to wonder seems an ideal technique to help me achieve those aspirations. Now if only I could help others do the same…
I have several colleagues, friends and even family members who are convinced that they know other people’s motives and intent, without ever checking to see if their assumptions are true. When I see things differently, I have a hard time even inviting them into my world.  I find myself shutting down instead and avoiding the conversation at all because I see them as unwilling to even consider another point of view.
What if I could invite them to turn to wonder…it doesn’t mean they have to change their conclusion, but to at least entertain the possibility that there is more than one way to see things.  We know that perspective taking increases innovation and creates a more inclusive and accepting environment.
I wonder:

  • If asking them to turn to wonder could be a more acceptable and approachable way for them to consider other options?
  • If I could connect with them instead of shutting down?
  • Why they think their way is the only right way?
  • Why it is so important for me to influence their way of thinking?

There are so many possibilities. What do you wonder about?
____________________________________________________
i The goal of the Center for Courage and Renewal is to strengthen relationships, build trust and empower people to create a better world. All of us have the capacity to lead from where we are to influence our environments for good. They do this through Circles of Trust. http://www.couragerenewal.org/
ii When the going gets rough, turn to wonder. Turn from reaction and judgment to wonder and compassionate inquiry. Ask yourself, “I wonder why they feel/think this way?” or “I wonder what my reaction teaches me about myself?” Set aside judgment to listen to others—and to yourself—more deeply.

Professional Beach Reads

Rory Gilbert, M.Ed., SPHR, SHRM-SCP on May 16, 2018

I was watching the waves crashing on the beach this past Thanksgiving while talking to my son. We were talking about work and the challenges of management, decision-making and leadership.  He told me about a book he had just read called Decisive by Chip and Dan Heath.  With the incredible luxury of WIFI and Kindle, it was in my hands within minutes…and I had my perfect “professional beach read.”
While I was relaxing and recharging, Decisive became my companion. It was entertaining, thought provoking and inspiring.  It insinuated itself into my relaxation as a way to rethink challenges that would be waiting for me when I returned home.
As coaches, we encourage leaders to step back and reflect, but everyone has to find their own way to do it successfully. For me, a professional beach read is like floating aimlessly on a raft and seeing where I end up…without a specific end goal in mind, but open to possibilities and connections.
So, as we set out on another summer, hop on board and consider the possibilities of your own professional beach read and see where it takes you.  Hopefully, you too will return, recharged, inspired and with some new strategies in your tool box.
Beach Read I – recommended by Rory Gilbert
Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work (Heath, Chip; Heath, Dan), The Crown Publishing Group, Kindle Edition
In Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work, Chip and Dan Heath provide some staggering statistics about how poor our decision-making is: everything from career choices (50% of teachers quit within 4 years, 40% of senior level hires are pushed out or quit within 18 months) to business decisions (83% of mergers and acquisitions fail to create value for stakeholders), to retirement saving, relationships, food choices…you name it. They then challenge us:
“When it comes to making decisions, it’s clear that our brains are flawed instruments. But less attention has been paid to another compelling question: Given that we’re wired to act foolishly sometimes, how can we do better?” (Heath, Kindle locations 80-83)
The Heath’s premise is that our decision-making processes are flawed and better processes such as exploring alternative points of view, recognizing uncertainty and searching for evidence that contradicts our beliefs can help us improve our outcomes.
They explore four “villains of decision making” and recommend strategies to overcome them.  The villains are: narrow framing – seeing limited options – this or that; confirmation bias – seeking out data that confirms our initial opinion or belief; short-term emotion – that limits our ability to have perspective; and over-confidence – trusting your own ability to predict the future.
And the rest of the book is about how to counter these villains. They provide a simple formula and then specific suggestions that are practical and immediately applicable.  Two of my favorites:

  • Watch out for limiting options – when we hear “do I want this or that…” start thinking about how to combine this and that and/or what else can you do. Don’t succumb to a forced choice – open up the possibilities!

How do I use this? I have a tendency to get really excited about new projects.  Usually, I am asked – do you want to take this on or not?  I always want to say yes…it sounds like fun, I am confident I/we can do it.  Over time, I have learned to find people to help me reality check my excitement.  All I can see is the possibilities glimmering in front of me.  I now have a kitchen cabinet who gets me out of “the spotlight effect” and answers my question, “what am I not thinking of?”
The Heath’s propose: “What if we started every decision by asking some simple questions: What are we giving up by making this choice? What else could we do with the same time and money?” (Heath, Kindle Locations 688-690)

  • Consider the opposite – try to gain perspective and overcome confirmation bias – they discuss the value of “the devil’s advocate,” and also talk about the challenge if people get too polarized. One of their suggestions to reduce polarization is to ask folks from different points of view, “What would have to be true for this option to be the right answer?” (Heath, Kindle Locations 1483-1484) Now, the exercise is about looking at variables and possibilities rather than just maintaining a position.  This strategy enhances cooperation, understanding and mutual commitment to the best outcome.

And there are more…I keep getting excited about another one and another one…so I think I just better suggest, read the book!  It is fun, enlightening and entertaining.
 
Beach Read II – recommended by Jill Bachman
Factfulness: Ten Reasons We’re Wrong about the World- and Why Things Are Better Than You Think (Rosling, Hans; Ronnlund, Anna Rosling; Rosling, Ola), 2018, Flatiron Books
While this title may not grab you as a “professional beach read”, it did turn into that for me. The book is intelligent, humorous, easy to read, and chock full of aha moments. Rosling, who collaborated with his adult daughter and son on the book, is Swedish, and dedicated much of his life to understanding the important trends in the world. Educated as a physician, he practiced in evolving third world countries. He was also a statistician, academic and public speaker. At a very early age he developed liver issues, coping with hepatitis C throughout his life. In 2017, he died from pancreatic cancer at the age of 68, one year after being diagnosed. He was driven to complete this book before his death.
Rosling starts your journey with an introduction about sword swallowing, a mini-discussion of chimpanzee logic (there is none, really, just randomness), and a series of questions (the Gapminder Test) about the state of current world conditions. I was woefully disappointed in my score, as I view myself as someone who “keeps up” with things like poverty, hunger, global warming and other “light” (ha!) beach read topics.
He then presents the reader with a series of “instincts” which he believes are the basis of our gross misunderstanding of the world. Taken together, these 10 instincts create a powerful set of approaches to help us behave more thoughtfully and effectively. The instincts are the Gap Instinct, the Negativity Instinct, the Straight Line Instinct, the Fear Instinct, the Size Instinct, the Generalization Instinct, the Destiny Instinct, the Single Perspective Instinct, the Blame Instinct, and the Urgency Instinct. Each of the instincts is developed with his real-life examples, some heartbreaking in their “missing the boat”. He concludes the book with chapters titled Factfulness in Practice, and Factfulness Rules of Thumb. I loved his quote near the end; “When we have a fact-based worldview, we can see that the world is not as bad as it seems- and we can see what we have to do to keep making it better.” (Rosling, Kindle location 3316.)
Two of the instincts that I find myself frequently “defaulting” to are the negativity instinct and the urgency instinct. The negativity instinct, he claims, is especially bad because “The loss of hope is probably the most devastating consequence,” (Rosling, Kindle location 876), keeping us from taking action on a situation. He suggests that we learn to keep two ideas in our head at the same time, something like, “This is a tragic situation AND here is something that can be done about it.” Another idea is to expect bad news, so that you don’t get caught off guard when bad things happen.
The urgency instinct is a problem, he claims, because “When we are under time pressures and thinking of worst case scenarios, we tend to make really stupid decisions.” (Rosling, Kindle location 2893.) To counteract an urgency impulse, stop and name it as a call/demand/expectation to take immediate action. Question just how urgent the situation really is. The truth is, those situations are rare today. Be wary of drastic action. How many times have you responded urgently to something, only to create a worse outcome for yourself? If someone is trying to convince you that you need to act now, insist on more information. What will happen if you decide not to act NOW. Will the sale come again? Can the issue really be solved in a heartbeat anyway? Recognize that the manipulative use of fear is often behind the call to urgency in order to get us to respond.
 In today’s dramatic and media-driven climate, a book that suggests that many things we thought were awful are actually improving has naturally generated critical responses, challenging that Rosling was a Pollyanna, and a confused statistician. IMHO, whether or not you agree with those criticisms, Rosling performed a valuable service with this book, giving us tools to think and respond much more deeply about the state of the world and our own lives.
We’d love to hear from you and learn more about your favorite beach reads as we all head into the summer ready to be re-energized.

Lessons Learned

Rory Gilbert, M.Ed., SPHR, SHRM-SCP on December 15, 2017

As we approach the end of the year, it is a wonderful time to reflect and take stock on what we’ve learned. Some learnings are easy, many come through unexpected challenges.  We’ve asked our consultant team to share some of the lessons that have emerged for them this year, and hope they provide you with insights that you will find helpful.
Experience Fun!
What I’ve settled on is as much something I aspire to, as something I’ve learned. Here it is. Life may turn out to be shorter than we had imagined, but one thing is for sure – Life is definitely better than we could have ever imagined. We have all been richly blessed. There’s so much joy and beauty available to us every day, and so much fun to be had in almost every moment. I’ve learned that I want to be more lighthearted and playful, and really experience all the fun that’s available to us. This is a bit of a reach for a serious, hard-working German girl like me, so if you see me off track, please remind me to lighten up.
Clean House
One of my lessons focuses on my 2017 year of “cleaning house” – both literally and figuratively.  Sold my condo, said goodbye to being Condo Board president for 15 plus years, now sharing a tiny little house with my sweetie, gave away more than half of my furniture…. and simplified.  The smallness is comforting, the shedding of “stuff” allowing me to breathe more freely.  Marie Kondo’s book, “The life-changing magic of tidying up” was inspiring.   Admittedly, progress on eliminating “keepsakes” and books/documents (some of which are still sitting in the basement…old family photographs (half of the faces not identifiable!), the syllabus for a class I “might” teach, past work creations) are slower-going, as Kondo suggests they can be – but my progress is real, shedding a light on how “tidying up” has freed (and continues to free) my mind and my soul.
Be Present!
I have come to carry 3 words with me this year that have meant A LOT! Be. Here. Now. They point me to the understanding that the present is all I have, and I dare not waste this precious resource by micro-planning every little step of an anticipated experience, nor replaying (and often affirming my own righteousness in) an unpleasant past experience. “Be here now”, has helped me stop to breathe, to stop the flow of words in my head, and to listen to the sound of my heart, my breath, or the silence inside me. Quieting my mind has become a practice I look forward to every morning. . . I am an early riser and I love to watch dawn color the sky. Being here now, in the present, is also directly linked to presence, which is the very best part of myself that I can give to another. Or to the sunrise.
Manage Anger and Frustration
I have been working hard to control my anger and frustration when situations arise. Since I am the only person that knows when anger is building, I have learned to recognize the danger signs when they begin. I can choose how to react in a situation and just because my first instinct is to become angry doesn’t mean it is the correct response.  I realize that when I start to get angry I need to stop what I am doing and breathe deeply. This interrupts my angry thoughts and helps put me back on a more positive path. Also, if I imagine how I look and behave when I am angry I probably would not want to be around someone like that.  A great person once shared that if I “Pause, find Peace and Pray, I can’t but help create an Attitude of Gratitude.”
Redefine Time  – this came up twice! As consultants, we are not bound by the typical 9 – 5 clock of an employee. Does this impact how we see time?
I have been challenging my misconception about time. . . the clock is useful for some things, but not as a way to experience and evaluate my life. Have I done everything I wanted to do before I turned a certain age? Did I get everything finished that I wanted to do on Friday? What crazy pressures! Because my life is no longer constrained by the clock, I am experimenting with the natural rhythms and ebb and flow of things . . .like my energy, the need to balance work, play and rest, the times for eating.
One lesson for me this year is to be mindful of how I spend my time. I am aware that time is a finite commodity. Am I doing what I want to be doing? What I need to be doing? Or am I just doing?  I am working at being more aware of the choices I make in how I spend my time both at work, in volunteer capacities and at leisure. Even when all I am doing is playing spider solitaire on my cell phone, I can give myself permission to be in a restful state — almost meditative — accepting that down time is a reasonable choice sometimes rather than berating myself about “wasting time.”  And I can make intentional decisions about the work I choose to do — having fun, finding meaning and earning money!  Rather than feeling obligated or compelled to work at things that are stressful and demotivating.  (Yes, I am fortunate to be able to choose this.) And I am finding that being is a valuable way to spend my time — being with family and friends, being outdoors, and being with my colleagues – with you all … who provide me with energy, perspective and support.
See Beyond our Thoughts
I’d say the most important lesson I’ve learned this year is to realize that I don’t need to believe everything I think or anything that anyone else thinks. I grew up in a household that was incredibly loving, full of extended family members who created a safe space for me and my cousins to play and laugh. It was also a household where “father knows Best” and everyone else’s thoughts came in second or third or nowhere at all.
So, in college, I was suddenly in a place where everyone wanted to know what I thought. Thinking was encouraged. And I got to voraciously read and discover other thinkers thorough-out history. I got to organize my thoughts around theories that inspired me and writers who were so articulate in discussing and defending their thoughts. I had many many journals which I used to express my thoughts about everything. You could say I became enamored by my own thoughts. And eventually gained expertise in helping myself and others explore their thought patterns, understand their origins, determine whether they were limiting beliefs and learn to shift or change them to create better results.
So, you can imagine my surprise, during my final year of my doctoral program, as I’m finishing up a 400+ page dissertation, to realize that I don’t need to believe what I think and that I don’t need to even heal my thoughts or shift my thoughts or have anything to do with my thoughts.  And that there’s a space beyond thought, a place of Presence and stillness and nothingness that holds more beauty, more potential, more joy than any of my thoughts or other people’s thoughts could ever imagine or express.
This experience is allowing me to relax into being “ordinary” and free to be with other people’s thoughts without the need to be on the defense or offense of anything. It’s bringing into my life a sense of groundedness and compassion and curiosity and insights the likes of which I have never experienced before.
Accept Ourselves as We Are
This year has been a year of unfolding awareness around the passage of time – of shifts in the way I hold myself in relationship to the world, an enlarging awareness that my presence – our presence – on the earth is but temporary, and the startling reality that things I never expected have planted themselves firmly in the landscape of my life.
I have been toying with existential questions – why are we here, what purpose does any one individual have, what is the meaning of this thing we call life?  I invited myself to lift and lift and lift above the details of the daily human experience and really try to SEE what made sense about life and living.  What a surprise when I realized that my presence on this earth – from a larger perspective – is absolutely and utterly insignificant!  Creation will not care if I eat kale or write bad music or am good at cleaning the kitchen.  I will not invent the light bulb or paint the Sistine Chapel or have my name attached to some doctrine.  The details of my daily life are inconsequential, and I am not required to place any kind of signature whatsoever on human history.
Paradoxically, the moment I had that realization was the same moment in which I understood fully that it is my own unique way of being, instead of my way of doing, that contributes to all of creation in a way that is meaningful and sustains the goodness that surrounds us always, whether we know it or not.  It was the moment in which I knew, without doubt, that expanding in love and kindness, compassion and generosity, caring and integrity, honesty and grace and offering THAT to the world (and to myself) is truly the only job I have as a human being.  Less doing, more Being!
So, let time fly or drag or whatever it does today or tomorrow.  My intention is to love every moment of this glorious, mysterious, messy, confusing gift called life – and to graciously forgive myself if I slip now and then!  To paraphrase one of my favorite sayings – when the tide rises ALL boats rise!!
And we invite you to share your lessons learned or your aspirations for next year with us as well in the spirit of giving that frames this time of year. Here’s a start on 2018. . . 
Study Sound
Next year I want to study sound, and the effect it has on our lives. . . the good, the bad, and the ugly. When friends from a big city come to visit me in rural Arizona, they consistently say, in a reverent way, “It is so quiet here!” The effect of abusive noise, including those noises in our heads, and the benefit of beautiful sounds (like Joyce’s harp at the Summit) are topics I want to explore.
Thank you to all our contributors: Julie Wechsler, Jill Bachman, Michael Cavanaugh, Mary Lockhart, Rory Gilbert, Noushin Bayat, Carla Rotering

Reflections on Being of Service: Leadership Summit 2017

Rory Gilbert, M.Ed., SPHR, SHRM-SCP on November 15, 2017

Thunderbird Leadership held its 11th Leadership Summit on Friday, November 10th. When the planning team convened, they discussed its proximity to Veterans Day and we were all taken by the notion of service. What does service mean? How do we serve? Who benefits? The day evolved into exploring notions of service, mercy and compassion…recognizing potential avenues to impact others as well as the need to care for ourselves so we have the genuine capacity to serve.

Dr. Gladys McGarey was the keynote speaker. She will be celebrating her 97th birthday this month and shared the story of her life in decades starting with her early childhood in northern India where her parents were medical missionaries. Clearly, she was born to service. Her story depicted a life of courage, seeking truth, and finding ways to bring healthful living to people throughout the world. We were struck by her challenge to change the medical model from “a war against disease,” to one that seeks life and balance – moving from fear to love. Her story was spellbinding and the consensus was that we could have listened to her all day!

How often do we take time to truly listen to others’ stories? Each of us has a tale to tell of how we arrived at this moment in time.

Our next speakers were Dr. Gladys’ extended family – who spoke about well-being. Julie Wechsler, a certified executive and well-being coach, shared factors that matter for overall well-being in our lives and differentiated surviving and thriving. She integrated how service was a critical part of thriving and introduced her daughter-in-law, Ashley, to share what service has meant to her. Ashley told her heartfelt story of being a “Big” for Big Brothers, Big Sisters and how it has profoundly changed her life. Ashley has been a Big Sister to the same girl for seven years…their families now entwine even more with connections, love and honor with Ashley’s Little Sister’s brother and sister.

The message was loud and clear – when we give, we receive.

Dr. Carla Rotering talked about mercy and forgiveness. Her gentle, thoughtful and deep remarks challenged us to “radical mercy,” to have compassion for ourselves and others without evaluating who “deserves” it. How do we navigate the world if we believe people are doing the best that they can? How do we treat ourselves if we believe that about ourselves? What is the impact on the world? Dr. Rotering completed her presentation with a poem she wrote, “The Reckoning,” that left us speechless – a journey from doubt and pain, to compassion and self-acceptance.

“And the tenderness of your true heart rises up to meet you
At the higher place to which you have come
And the shroud that has bound the secrets to your spirit for so long
Simply falls away.”
Carla Rotering, 2002

So, here we are at a Leadership Summit about service and we are being asked to take care of ourselves – recognizing that we cannot genuinely serve others if our own self is untended, uncared for. I am reminded of a concept from Dr. Brene Brown who stated that the people who are the most compassionate have the best boundaries. They know themselves, care for themselves and act from the heart, from love and “radical mercy,” not from obligation.

And the truth is, we can all feel that difference, can’t we?

In the afternoon, we heard from Katie Owens and her story of resilience, depicting how we can move from disappointment and rejection to new opportunities and possibilities. Once again, the message is about inner strength making space for genuine service.

“Out beyond stories of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field, I’ll meet you there…”  Rumi

And finally, Mary Lockhart, Noushin Bayat and I finished the day looking at how the messages we tell ourselves impact our ability to act, to serve. Back to stories once again! We challenged ourselves and our participants to differentiate fact from fiction, observation from interpretation. We asked participants to “turn to wonder” when things get difficult, turning away from, “I don’t,” “I can’t,” “I never,” and opening possibilities for new stories and new perspectives, concluding with a quote from Viktor Frankl,

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

And then, the day was over. Our heads were filled with messages of care, compassion and passion for ourselves and for others…to see the world in a new way and to find our place of impact, not to wait for the right time, but to make today the right time.

P.S. – There were so many fabulous contributors to the day that enhanced the experience of the Summit for everyone. Check our photo gallery to see the support of our sponsors, imagine the day graced by harpist Joyce Beukers, massage therapist Heather Paslay and graphic documentarian Stephanie Levine. A Silent Auction inspired generous giving which netted well over $2000. Every participant had a chance to submit “their” charity of choice for the Silent Auction proceeds, and this year, the Humane Society was the lucky recipient. We hope you will be able to join us next year!

Employee Wellbeing and the Bottom Line

Dustin Fennell on November 27, 2014

While it’s clear that happy, healthy employees are more effective and productive at work, it’s not always clear to employers what they can do to help set the stage for employee happiness and wellbeing. However, because people spend so much of their time at work, employers are in the ideal position to invest in their employees’ wellbeing.