Reclaim Your Time: 5 Boundary Challenges Leaders Face (and How to Overcome Them)

Debbie Fennell on March 6, 2025

By Mary Lockhart, PhD, MS, ACC

As a leader, your time, energy, and attention are constantly in demand. You want to be accessible, supportive, and engaged—but without clear boundaries, leadership can quickly become overwhelming. Meetings fill every available moment, emails flood your inbox, and your workday extends well into your personal time. Over time, this takes a toll.

The good news? Strong boundaries don’t make you a less effective leader; they make you a better one. By setting and maintaining boundaries, you protect your ability to think strategically, make sound decisions, be an effective role model and be fully present when it matters most.

Research consistently shows that strong boundaries are not just good for your well-being – they are also good for your team, and for your organization.  A leader’s ability to implement clear boundaries can improve team morale, reduce turnover, and foster a more productive work environment.

Here are five key types of challenges all leaders face with boundaries, along with specific strategies to overcome them.

1. Time Boundaries: Stop the 24/7 Grind

One of the biggest challenges for leaders is managing their time effectively. Without clear boundaries, your calendar can become overrun with meetings, leaving little time for deep work, strategic thinking, or even a moment to breathe. 

Try this:

  • Block out dedicated “focus time” on your calendar and protect it as you would an important meeting.
  • Set clear meeting norms. You can do this by placing a limit on meeting times and ensure they have a clear agenda.
  • Build in buffer time between meetings to avoid running from one commitment to the next without reflection.

2. Work-Life Boundaries: Model What You Preach

Many leaders feel they must be “always on,” responding to emails late at night, taking calls on weekends, and sacrificing personal time for work. But when you blur the lines between work and personal life, burnout is inevitable for both you and for your team members.

Studies have shown that employees with better work-life balance are more engaged, focused, and less likely to experience burnout, leading to improved performance and reduced absenteeism. By role-modeling a healthier work-life balance, you empower everyone to thrive. 

Try this:

  • Define and communicate your work hours to your team, and stick to them.
  • If you work outside normal hours, use “schedule send” for emails to send during standard work hours to avoid setting an expectation of 24/7 availability.
  • Establish a transition ritual, such as a walk or journaling, to help shift from work mode to personal time.

3. Decision-Making Boundaries: Letting Go of Control and Empowering Your Team

Leaders often get pulled into decisions they don’t need to make, leading to decision fatigue and a lack of time for higher-level priorities. If you’re frequently solving problems your team could handle, it’s time to redefine your decision-making role and trust your team.

Try this:

  • Use the RACI model (Responsible, Accountable, Consulted, Informed) to clarify who owns what decisions. This designates who is Responsible for executing a task, who is Accountable for the outcome (only one person should be accountable for each task), who needs to be Consulted before a decision is made, and who needs to be Informed of the decision. Using RACI can prevent confusion and ensure clear ownership.
  • When team members bring you a problem, ask, “What do you think?” and take their suggestions seriously before offering your opinion,
  • Delegate decisions that don’t require your level of expertise and trust your team to execute.

4. Communication Boundaries: Cutting Through the Noise

Emails, texts and “quick questions” can fill your day, leaving little room for focused work. Without clear communication boundaries, you’ll spend more time reacting than leading.

Try this:

  • Set expectations for response times—just because someone asks for an immediate answer doesn’t mean they need one.
  • Establish “office hours” for non-urgent discussions to prevent constant interruptions.
  • Decline meetings that aren’t necessary, and encourage concise, focused in-person and email communication.

5. Emotional Boundaries: Supporting Without Absorbing

Great leaders care deeply about their teams. However, when you take on too much of your team’s stress, it can weigh you down. Leaders who struggle with emotional boundaries by absorbing another’s problems often experience burnout and decision paralysis.

Try this:

  • Recognize what’s within your control and what isn’t. If an issue is draining you, ask yourself, “Is this something I can control?”  If not, let it go. 
  • When a team member shares a challenge, ask yourself, “Am I here to listen, advise, or take action?” Not every problem is yours to solve (even if you really want to).
  • Support your team members while maintaining perspective—being empathetic doesn’t mean carrying their emotional burdens.

The Bottom Line: Boundaries Make You a Stronger Leader

Setting boundaries isn’t about being unavailable, it’s about being intentional. When you protect your time, energy, and focus, you show up as a more strategic, present, and effective leader. And by modeling healthy boundaries, you empower your team to do the same.

What’s one boundary you need to strengthen this week?


Additional Resources for Leaders:

Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts (2018) Brené Brown emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and courage in leadership, offering tools to build trust and navigate difficult conversations.

Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity (2022) Kim Scott provides a framework for leaders to communicate effectively, fostering open dialogue while maintaining professional relationships.

Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition:  When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life (2017).  Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer practical guidance on setting healthy limits in relationships, work, and personal life to regain control and foster emotional well-being.The Burnout Epidemic: The Rise of Chronic Stress and How We Can Fix It (2021).  In this timely book, workplace well-being expert Jennifer Moss helps leaders and individuals prevent burnout and create healthier, happier, and more productive workplaces.

Insights into the Dynamic World of Nursing

Debbie Fennell on February 8, 2025

Recently I sat down for a conversation with Kathleen Kaminsky, MS, RN, NE-BC.  Kathleen is the Senior Vice President, Patient Care Services and Chief Nursing Officer for Englewood Health in New Jersey.

Rhonda Williams:  Kathleen, thank you for sitting down with me today.

Kathleen Kaminsky:  Thank you, Rhonda. It’s my pleasure.


Q:  Kathleen, can you share a bit about your leadership journey at Englewood Health? It looks like you’ve had quite the impressive tenure here.

Kathleen Kaminsky:  I’ve been with Englewood Health for 39 years. I started as a unit secretary prior to becoming a nurse. I began to advance and served as the Chief Quality Officer for nearly 20 years. Around 2015, I stepped in as Interim Chief Nursing Officer for under a year before returning to focus on population health and quality. In 2018, I officially became the Chief Nursing Officer, and quality remains a part of my focus.

When I transitioned into the CNO role, I immediately recognized challenges and opportunities for growth, particularly vacancies in critical specialties like the emergency department, ICU, and operating rooms. One of my first priorities was establishing support programs for new graduates, such as an emergency department residency program. We started with critical care and expanded to areas like the ED and L&D. This was all happening just as COVID struck, which significantly influenced the early-career experiences of new nurses. Many had more simulation-based training and fewer live patient interactions. Post-COVID, we faced retirements and turnover, but we’ve remained focused on developing excellent nursing professionals and fostering stability in our units.

Q:  You mentioned developing a pipeline for nurses and new graduates. What specific initiatives have you implemented?

Kathleen Kaminsky:  We’ve taken a multifaceted approach. For example, we added PCAs (Patient Care Associates) and BSN students. We encourage team members in other roles—like transporters—to pursue nursing. Tuition reimbursement has been critical in this effort.

We were also fortunate to receive a $10 million philanthropic gift from the Kaplen Foundation and its president, Maggie Kaplen in March 2020 dedicated to nursing, which allowed us to establish the Kaplen Institute for Nursing Excellence. The institute provides scholarships, supports professional development, and fosters innovation. This framework has been pivotal in our goal of developing a sustainable nursing pipeline and ensuring ongoing nursing excellence.

Rhonda Y. Williams:  Your dedication to creating a structured pipeline for nursing talent is commendable and speaks to the importance of intentional leadership. It sounds like The Kaplen Institute not only addresses immediate staffing needs but also invests in the long-term development of future leaders in nursing.


Q: Generational differences are a growing focus in workplaces today. Many workplaces have four or five generations working together. How have you seen this play out across your team?

Kathleen Kaminsky:  Generational differences have certainly shaped how we work. I’m from the last cohort of Baby Boomers, a generation known for its commitment to staying with one organization for decades. Today’s workforce is different. Many younger nurses prioritize work-life balance, flexibility, and career mobility.

We’ve responded. For example, we have moved to 12-hour shifts for most units because that’s what our staff wanted. We’ve also embraced flexible schedules, allowing nurse managers to choose between four 10-hour shifts or five 8-hour shifts. This has been well-received and helps accommodate varying needs.

However, this shift has changed team dynamics and continuity of care. If a nurse only works three days a week, they might not see the same patients or colleagues consistently, which impacts relationship-building and team cohesion.

To address this, we invested in mentoring programs. We encourage senior nurses to mentor newer staff. One of our units even partners with academic institutions, allowing nurses to mentor students who may later join the team. Having you join us for this presentation on intergenerational communication is also in alignment with our goal of fostering open communication across generations. It is critical and fosters a more connected, collaborative environment.

Rhonda Y. Williams:  Generational differences aren’t just about work preferences; they shape how individuals communicate and collaborate. Training on generational understanding along with tools like DiSC personality profile assessments can help teams understand these differences and foster stronger relationships by identifying both generational and individual behavioral tendencies.


Q: Leadership development is a critical element of a healthy workforce. Can you share a little about your processes for managing this?

Kathleen Kaminsky:  When I stepped into this role in late 2018, we identified a huge opportunity to revamp our leadership development processes, particularly for nurse managers. At that time, the structure of the program was still evolving, and the orientation process had room to better align with the needs of our workforce. We rebuilt it using the American Organization for Nursing Leadership competencies and framework, focusing on creating a more structured and intentional approach.

While COVID disrupted our progress for several years, we’ve recently started revisiting and enhancing these efforts. One area we’ve recognized as critical is providing consistent orientation—not just relying on preceptors but addressing knowledge gaps like operational rules and foundational processes.

Our workforce also takes advantage of development programs offered by Human Resources through the Englewood Academy’s Leadership Development Institute.   These programs are designed to meet team members at different stages of their careers.  Each session is carefully crafted to provide valuable insights and practical tools that align with the individual’s role and experience level.

Rhonda Y. Williams:  Thank you for sharing that with us. Development of leaders is never an event, but instead it is a process. In our work at Thunderbird Leadership Consulting, we know how important that is, and we help organizations understand their leaders and teams at a deeper level using assessments. We firmly believe once you truly understand who they are as people, then we can enhance relationships, communication and overall workplace morale and productivity. Effective leadership development must address three key groups: new leaders, experienced leaders who need ongoing growth, and newly promoted leaders who may feel overwhelmed. Structured programs that include mentorship and continuous training are essential for building a resilient leadership team.


Q:  Many nursing leaders are actively engaged in the practices you’ve shared here with us and I’m sure they’ll find value in what you have shared. Can you briefly speak to leadership burnout and what you are seeing on your team. It’s such an important topic for today’s workforce dynamics.

Kathleen Kaminsky:  I think having flexibility, work life balance and fostering a healthy work environment are essential to reducing the risk of burnout in our leaders.

All team members have access to wellbeing resources. For instance, we have a Team Wellness Primary Care Access Center designed exclusively for Englewood Health employees and their immediate adult family members. Englewood Health offers confidential mental and emotional health resources to our team members.

Available services are visible on our employee portal, promoted during employee wellness fairs, and we have presentations and information that goes out regularly for the team. Leaders are educated to ensure that if team members express a need or would benefit from referral to team wellness services, those referrals are made.

Rhonda Y. Williams:  Thank you, Kathy. Just as each organization is unique, challenges around stress and burnout are similar but different. I appreciate hearing about Englewood’s comprehensive approach.

Q: What’s your vision for the future of leadership at Englewood Health?

Kathleen Kaminsky:  My hope is to see our leaders continue building their skill sets and toolkits. It’s essential to provide nurse managers with the resources and support they need to succeed. Succession planning is also critical. By focusing on strategy and mentorship, we can prepare our leaders to navigate the evolving challenges of healthcare.

I also want our team to feel like they have work-life balance. That’s important because it was something they asked for.

Finally, I want to thank my executive team. I have a lot of support to lead in the way that is best for our team.

Rhonda Y. Williams:  It’s not easy leading a dynamic healthcare workforce today. Thank you for recognizing the importance of flexibility and strategic development so you team can provide the best possible care to patients, families and each other.

I realize you are incredibly busy, and I thank you so much for your time today.


Final Thoughts

This conversation with Kathleen Kaminsky highlights the importance of intentional leadership, adaptability, and continuous development in today’s healthcare environment. From addressing generational differences to creating structured leadership pipelines, Englewood Health’s initiatives serve as a backdrop for the evolving needs healthcare teams experience today. For leaders across industries, the lessons shared here are universally applicable: understand your people, invest in their development, and adapt to meet their evolving needs. That is a recipe for success.

Balancing Optimism with Realism: How Leaders Can Counteract Toxic Positivity

Debbie Fennell on February 7, 2025

By Tresha Moreland, MBA, SPHR, Fellow (FACHE)

In the modern workplace, leaders often emphasize the importance of staying positive, especially when navigating tough times. However, when optimism becomes excessive and dismisses legitimate concerns, it turns into toxic positivity—or “glossing.”

Glossing is the tendency to mask challenges with relentless positivity, creating an environment where employees feel unheard and their struggles minimized. Leaders who recognize and address this tendency can foster trust, empathy, and open communication.

Understanding Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity is the compulsion to react to distress with superficial assurances, such as “Everything will be fine” or “Look on the bright side,” without acknowledging the real challenges at hand. While a positive outlook can motivate, consistently brushing over problems stifles open dialogue and invalidates emotions. The result? Teams may feel pressured to hide concerns or adopt a “just keep smiling” attitude, which erodes trust and authenticity.

Leaders must balance optimism and realism to create a supportive, truthful, and productive environment.

Why Glossing Is Detrimental to Trust and Team Dynamics

Glossing can erode trust and team cohesion in subtle but damaging ways:

  • It suppresses open communication: When leaders ignore or downplay difficulties, employees may feel discouraged from voicing concerns or offering feedback. This can create a culture of silence where critical problems are overlooked until they escalate.
  • It fosters disconnection: Employees must feel that their leaders understand and empathize with their experiences. By glossing over challenges, leaders risk appearing out of touch or insincere, damaging their credibility.
  • It undermines problem-solving: Productive teams thrive on tackling problems head-on. Toxic positivity prevents teams from discussing obstacles and finding real solutions, ultimately hindering growth.

Practical Strategies for Leaders to Avoid Glossing

Recognizing tendencies toward glossing is only the first step. Leaders need actionable strategies to maintain a healthy balance between optimism and realism. Here are some practical approaches:

1. Embrace Transparent Communication

Transparency is the antidote to glossing. Leaders should be clear and upfront about challenges without being defeatist. For example, during periods of organizational change, it’s more effective to say, “We’re facing a difficult transition period, but I’m confident we have the resilience to navigate it,” than to say, “Don’t worry; it’s all going to be perfect.”

Practical Tip: Share facts and context. Discuss what’s going well and acknowledge what isn’t. This builds a culture where employees know they’re getting the full picture and can trust leadership to be honest.

2. Encourage Empathetic Leadership

Empathy allows leaders to connect with their teams on a deeper level. When employees feel understood, they’re more likely to engage openly. Empathetic leadership means acknowledging stressors, asking questions, and listening without judgment.

Practical Tip: Practice active listening during meetings and one-on-ones. Instead of moving quickly to solutions, pause to acknowledge what’s being shared. Phrases like “I hear you” or “That sounds challenging” can create a safe space for honest communication.

3. Create a “Safe-to-Speak” Environment

One of the best ways to counter toxic positivity is to clarify that constructive criticism and honest discussions are valued. Employees should feel safe sharing their concerns without fear of reprimand or dismissal.

Practical Tip: Establish regular feedback sessions where teams can discuss both wins and challenges. Implement open-door policies that encourage employees to voice their thoughts outside structured meetings.

Balancing Positivity with Realism

Optimism can still play a significant role in leadership—when used correctly. Positive reinforcement motivates teams and helps maintain morale. The key is to balance optimism with realistic acknowledgment of the current situation.

How to Balance:

  • Acknowledge the struggle and celebrate efforts: “I know this project has had its difficulties, but I want to recognize the effort everyone’s put in. We’ve overcome some major hurdles, and I believe we can keep pushing forward.”
  • Model vulnerability: It’s okay for leaders to share that they don’t have all the answers. Saying, “This is tough, and I’m still figuring out the best path forward,” can make leaders more relatable and inspire confidence.

The Long-Term Benefits of Avoiding Glossing

By counteracting toxic positivity, leaders foster a work culture that prioritizes transparency, empathy, and trust. This, in turn, creates:

  • Stronger team morale: When employees know they can be honest without repercussions, morale improves. They feel valued and seen, which boosts overall job satisfaction.
  • Better problem-solving: Transparent dialogue allows teams to identify challenges early and develop solutions collaboratively.
  • Sustained resilience: Teams that face challenges head-on are better prepared for future uncertainties. They develop resilience by learning to adapt, pivot, and support each other through change.

Wrapping it Up

Leaders don’t need to choose between positivity and realism—both can coexist in a healthy balance. By recognizing and counteracting glossing tendencies, leaders build trust and foster an environment where open dialogue thrives. The result is a workplace where employees feel empowered, engaged, and equipped to navigate challenges together.

Harmonizing Workplace Dynamics: The Transformative Power of Community Music-Making

Nathan Bachofsky on February 22, 2024

By Nathan Bachofsky, M.Ed.

Embracing community music-making offers a distinctive approach to nurturing a vibrant workplace culture. Beyond typical team-building activities, it fosters cohesion, boosts morale, and enhances well-being while reducing stress. This innovative approach also sparks creativity, fortifies your organization’s image, and deepens community engagement. Supported by research, this unique initiative equips your workforce with essential skills for success, positioning your organization as a pioneer in fostering a harmonious and productive workplace environment. Let’s explore why your organization should consider tuning into the transformative power of music within the workplace.

1. Enhanced Team Cohesion and Morale

Engaging in community music-making fosters a strong sense of team spirit and camaraderie among employees, breaking down barriers and facilitating better communication. A study by Clift and Hancox (2010) on choir singing revealed that group music activities significantly improve team cohesion and morale, enhancing workplace harmony and productivity.

2. Boosted Employee Well-being and Stress Reduction

Music activities offer a creative stress outlet and enhance well-being, essential for reducing workplace burnout. Coulton et al. (2015) found that community singing had a positive impact on mental health and stress reduction, highlighting its potential as a low-cost, accessible intervention for improving employee well-being.

3. Improved Creativity and Innovation

Music making stimulates creativity, crucial for innovation in the workplace. Hanna-Pladdy and Mackay (2011) demonstrated that musical activity enhances cognitive functions related to creativity and problem-solving, suggesting a direct link between music engagement and innovative thinking.

4. Positive Image and Community Engagement

Implementing music programs showcases a commitment to social responsibility, ultimately attracting and maintaining talent. Hargreaves, Miell, and MacDonald (2012) discuss how music initiatives can enhance corporate social responsibility efforts, attracting like-minded talent and customers.

5. Leadership Development and Team Building

Music making is an effective platform for leadership and team-building, promoting essential workplace skills. A study by Southgate and Roscigno (2009) on music education and leadership skills found that musical group activities improve leadership abilities and teamwork, directly applicable to professional settings.

References: 

Clift, S., & Hancox, G. (2010). The significant effects of choral singing on community cohesion and well-being. University of Music and Performing Arts, 22(3), 323-343.

Coulton, S., Clift, S., Skingley, A., & Rodriguez, J. (2015). The effect of community group singing on mental health: A systematic review. Journal of Mental Health, 24(1), 40-53.

Hanna-Pladdy, B., & Mackay, A. (2011). The impact of sustained engagement in musical activities on cognitive functions in older adults. Age and Ageing, 40(4), 478-486.

Hargreaves, D.J., Miell, D.E., & MacDonald, R.A.R. (2012). Music and social bonding: Benefits of group music activities in building social cohesion. Social Psychology of Music, 42(2), 191-206.

Southgate, D.E., & Roscigno, V.J. (2009). The impact of music on childhood and adolescent achievement. Social Science Quarterly, 90(1), 4-21.

Unlocking Harmony: The Transformative Benefits of Workplace Mediation

Nathan Bachofsky on January 17, 2024

By Nathan Bachofsky, M.Ed.

In the dynamic landscape of today’s workplaces, conflicts are inevitable. Whether it’s a clash of personalities, disputes over responsibilities, or miscommunication, workplace tensions can adversely affect employee morale and hinder productivity. This is where the role of a workplace mediator becomes pivotal. In this blog post, we’ll explore the transformative benefits of bringing in a workplace mediator to foster a harmonious and productive work environment.

  1. Early Conflict Resolution

One of the primary advantages of involving a workplace mediator is the ability to address conflicts at their earliest stages. Mediators are skilled in identifying and resolving issues before they escalate into more significant problems. By nipping conflicts in the bud, organizations can save valuable time and resources that would otherwise be spent on prolonged disputes.

  1. Improved Communication

Workplace mediators excel in facilitating open and effective communication between parties in conflict. They create a safe space for individuals to express their concerns, ensuring that all perspectives are heard and understood. Improved communication is a cornerstone for building stronger team relationships and preventing future conflicts.

  1. Preservation of Relationships

Unlike adversarial approaches, workplace mediation focuses on collaboration and finding mutually agreeable solutions. Mediators work towards preserving relationships rather than perpetuating a win-lose scenario. This approach fosters a positive and cooperative atmosphere, allowing employees to continue working together harmoniously.

  1. Cost-Effective Conflict Resolution

Litigation and legal battles can be exorbitantly expensive for organizations. Workplace mediation offers a cost-effective alternative, saving companies substantial legal fees and resources. Resolving conflicts through mediation is often quicker and more economical, contributing to the financial well-being of the organization.

  1. Increased Employee Satisfaction

When employees witness proactive conflict resolution measures being taken, it boosts their confidence in the organization’s commitment to a healthy work environment. Mediation empowers employees by involving them in the resolution process, leading to increased job satisfaction and a positive workplace culture.

  1. Tailored Solutions

Workplace mediators understand that every conflict is unique. They tailor solutions to the specific needs and dynamics of the individuals involved. This personalized approach ensures that resolutions are not one-size-fits-all but rather crafted to address the intricacies of each situation.

  1. Enhanced Productivity

By resolving conflicts swiftly and effectively, workplace mediation contributes to enhanced overall productivity. Employees can focus on their tasks without the distraction of ongoing disputes, leading to improved workflow and a more efficient workplace.

The benefits of bringing in a workplace mediator extend far beyond conflict resolution. Mediation fosters a culture of open communication, collaboration, and understanding, ultimately creating a workplace where employees thrive. By investing in mediation services, organizations not only save costs but also lay the foundation for a harmonious and productive work environment. The transformative power of workplace mediation is a strategic choice that paves the way for long-term success. If you’d like more information regarding our mediation services, reach out to Nathan Bachofsky (nbachofsky@thunderbirdleadership.com).

Nutrition in the Blue Zones

Debbie Fennell on July 28, 2023

By Autumn Sisneros, MS, RD, LD, CDCES

Blue Zones are regions of the world where people tend to live significantly longer and healthier lives compared to the global average. These regions have been studied by researchers to identify the lifestyle factors that contribute to longevity. These regions include Ikaria in Greece, Okinawa in Japan, Sardinia in Italy, the Nicoya Peninsula in Costa Rica, and Loma Linda, California (yes, even here in our own backyard). While there is no single factor that can fully explain the longevity in Blue Zones, several common characteristics have been identified:

  1. Active Lifestyle: Physical activity is a natural part of daily life in Blue Zones. People engage in regular, low-intensity physical activities such as walking, gardening, and household chores, which help maintain mobility and overall fitness throughout their lives.
  2. Social Engagement: Strong social connections and community support play a vital role in the longevity of Blue Zone residents. People in these areas often have strong bonds with family, friends, and neighbors, which provide emotional support, a sense of purpose, and a feeling of belonging.
  3. Purposeful Life: Having a sense of purpose and meaning in life is another common trait among individuals in Blue Zones. Whether it’s through work, family, or other meaningful activities, having a reason to wake up each day contributes to mental and emotional well-being.
  4. Stress Reduction: Blue Zone cultures often have built-in mechanisms to manage and reduce stress. Whether through daily rituals, prayer, meditation, or simply taking time to relax and enjoy life, stress reduction practices help protect against chronic diseases associated with prolonged stress.
  5. Moderate Alcohol Consumption: In some Blue Zones, moderate alcohol consumption, especially of red wine, is a cultural norm. The key is moderation—typically, one to two servings per day, rather than excessive or binge drinking, which can have detrimental effects on health.
  6. Limited Smoking: Smoking rates tend to be low or non-existent in Blue Zone communities. This factor significantly reduces the risks of various chronic diseases, including cancer, heart disease, and respiratory ailments.

And last but not least ……….

  1. Healthy Diet: Blue Zone populations typically consume a plant-based diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, and nuts with limited processed foods, saturated fats, and added sugars. See below for a few examples:
    • Legumes: Legumes such as beans, lentils, and chickpeas are a staple in the diets of people in Blue Zones. They are excellent sources of protein, fiber, and various vitamins and minerals.
    • Whole Grains: Whole grains like brown rice, quinoa, and oats are commonly consumed in Blue Zones. They provide sustained energy, fiber, and important nutrients.
    • Healthy Fats: Healthy fats, like those found in avocados, olive oil, and nuts, are a part of the traditional diets in Blue Zones. These fats are rich in monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats, which are beneficial for heart health.
    • Limited Animal Products: While not entirely vegetarian, people in Blue Zones typically consume animal products in small amounts and on rare occasions. Fish is often favored over other meats, and it is consumed in moderation.
    • Balanced Caloric Intake: Blue Zone populations tend to practice mindful eating and avoid overeating. They consume moderate portions of food and practice calorie balance.
    • Herbal Teas: In some Blue Zones, herbal teas made from local plants are consumed regularly. These teas often have medicinal properties and are believed to contribute to overall health and well-being.

It’s important to note that specific dietary practices may vary slightly among different Blue Zones, as they are influenced by local traditions, cultures, and available food sources. Nonetheless, considering the commonalities of the Blue Zones, specifically as it relates to food and nutrition, may help you live your longest and BEST life! Interested in learning more about the Blue Zones and other ways of living a more balanced lifestyle? Join us for our Reflect, Rejuvenate & Thrive event in Cleveland, OH on September 8, 2023. You can find more information and register online at thunderbirdleadership.com/events.

The Winding Road

Kevin Monaco on April 3, 2022

It sounds so simple, but no one had ever told me: The road is winding and wide. I wasn’t aware because most people I knew pursued only one road: The Straight and Narrow. I don’t mean ‘honest’ and ‘moral’ here. I mean ‘straight’ and ‘narrow’– the complete opposite of ‘winding’ and ‘wide’.

Here in Cleveland, we joke that there are only two seasons; winter and construction. You always have to be ready with an alternative route. You can almost never take the most direct path. You must first go south before you can go west, or a little east before you can go north. And don’t forget about rush hour traffic! You’re in it for the long haul. Luckily, there are multiple ways to get to where you’re going.

During a challenging health journey in my late 20s, I began to examine my life more deeply than I ever had up to that point. I felt as though I was headed in the wrong direction, particularly with my career and my life’s dedication. I yearned to be creative again, like I was when I was younger. I wanted to make beautiful creations, important calls-to-action that people admired and felt moved by. I wanted to inspire others with my passion and energy. I felt I knew where I should be, where I always wanted to be, but that place was somewhere on the other side of town. It was a place I was very unfamiliar with, and quite frankly, terrified of.

And so I began to talk with someone about my struggles. The more I spoke about it, the more aware I was of the panic bubbling up inside of me. I was operating on autopilot. I wasn’t engaged or enthusiastic about the work I was doing. I felt undervalued and overworked. I felt disappointed in myself for not having a clearer direction for my life, a more solid plan. I chastised myself because I had allowed this to happen, and now, nearly ten years into my career at that point, I felt trapped and confused. Was this ever really what I wanted to do? What about all the years of education I went through? The degrees I earned? The time I’d already invested at my workplace? It all seemed like a big waste. 

Through my sadness, my therapist offered this simple but impactful perspective: Life is not a straight and narrow path. It is a jagged and twisty, multi-lane roadway, full of construction and bus stops. It is a series of onramps and offramps, and sometimes you have to go far out of your way to get back on track. Sometimes you are driving with poor visibility, and sometimes you’re driving through clear skies with the top down. But you are always moving. Even if you stop momentarily, life beckons you to hit the gas once again. 

I spent a lot of time with this analogy. I thought about what it meant to view my life as a winding road. I thought about all the events of my life that I am grateful for, and I began to notice the twisted roads that led me to them. Of course life is not a straightforward path! There are reasons for this, and here are a few I’ve learned from my experience since then.

 

 

1) Life is a series of stops and detours that provides us with feedback on how we are responding and growing as people.

Quite simply put, we do not know what we do not yet know. I like to view my life experiences as a variety of roadside diners. I discover new joints that I love, and others…well, I won’t be coming back for seconds. Use these experiences to fuel change and discover what makes you ‘tick’. By means of detouring and rerouting, I begin to learn my way around town. I discover the bumpy roads, the carefree highways, the heavily patrolled areas, and the places I want to avoid in the future. At 15 years old, I was afraid to drive up that freeway onramp for the first time, but I learned something every time I tried, and it got easier. Learning more about myself and my surroundings has been key to uncovering my personal path and purpose. 

 

2) We may need to have certain experiences that drive us forward, even if they seem counterproductive.

We may not be ready for a particular ‘point of interest’ yet. That is the bottom line. We may have to acquire some skills, be jolted into some serious reflection, meet some new people, or overcome a challenge before we are prepared to arrive at that destination. Even if you feel restless and anxious, this is a process that asks you to honor your current location. This is where you are today, and there is incredible power in that realization. Each twist and turn is teaching you to become a better driver, and you will be better-equipped to handle future roadblocks. Perhaps a new road will open up now that you’re no longer headed south on the old one. In this way, no experience is a lost cause. No credential, skill, or relationship is a waste of time. No seemingly counterproductive event has forever put you in reverse. You are a master navigator! Even as you are reading and reflecting on this post, you are fine-tuning your route.

I’m reminded of an SNL Weekend Update skit where Leslie Jones talks to Colin Jost about Oprah Winfrey’s experience being fired as a young intern. Jost remarks what a mistake it was for those executives to fire Oprah! “No it wasn’t!” Leslie claps back. “…‘Cause she wasn’t Oprah. She was just some 23-year-old punk, who needed to get fired, so she could become ‘Oprah’!” 

 

3) Trust that if we set the destination, life will align the right people and situations to get us there.

Life is a complicated web of connections and networks. We’ve all heard of the six degrees of separation concept. Whether there are actually six is not the point. We can be sure that there is at least one path for every destination we plan for. From a vantage point much greater than any mirror or car camera can provide, you have already initiated a chain reaction that is shifting the tides to make things happen.

I have always had many interests. But since I can remember, I always wanted to be a singer and songwriter. There was one problem: I was terrified to put myself out there for people to hear. Over the years, I gradually turned my back on my love of music. Quite some time later, I decided I owed it to myself to forge down that path once again and take a look around! In the last three years, I have now performed many times for an audience, but I had to get through a few hazardous conditions before I could open up. Some were even completely unrelated to music! My original plan had me arriving at my destination really early. Improperly early. It was in my best interest to slow down and take the scenic route. I began to notice the parts of my previous career that had prepared me for an audience. I noticed the new experiences I was having that were encouraging me out of my shell. I noticed the unique and fun moments I was having as a result of this new route–ones I would never have dreamt possible.

I know that it may take you, as it has taken me, some time to get used to this winding road. We are prodded down narrow paths, raised with absolutes, and told it’s ‘my way or the highway!’ We begin to neglect our own navigation system, and we forget who is driving the car.

76-year-old American actor, singer, dancer, and director, André De Shields, offered this piece of advice during his first Tony Award acceptance speech in 2019: “Slowly is the fastest way to get to where you want to be.” So let’s try not to be anxious drivers. The pace and course of your journey has been designed specifically for you. If it feels misguided or too slow, take a deep breath, and stay curious about your surroundings. Ask yourself what you are meant to learn at this time. Find out what is working and what isn’t working for you. Reach out and ask for directions. Discover how you will do things differently next time. If the traffic is too noisy, roll up the windows and put on your favorite playlist! If we settle into the moment, we allow the next turn to reveal itself. 

Above all, remember that life is a process of growth opportunities. There is more to our stories than just the beginnings and ends. We can be motivated by the destination, or we can be excited about the road trip itself. Afterall, the real adventure is in the winding detours.

 

Curb Your Complaining

Carla J. Rotering, MD, M.A. on February 7, 2022

by Dr. Carla Rotering

 

“The only thing complaining does is convince other people that you are not in control.”– Unknown

There’s an old saying that “misery loves company” – and over the last couple of years, things may feel pretty miserable to many if not most of us.  It seems a natural extension to transfer what we experience into the act of complaining.  

Complaining and connecting with those who share our disturbance not only provides some emotional release but it also creates a place of belonging. Who doesn’t want to spend time with people who “get” what we are talking about – who notice the same miserable things we do, push against the same miserable boundaries we do, and complain about the same miserable details that we do?   We become misery buddies, an exclusive club of complainers, operating with the belief that we are bonding and validating one another through our shared complaints.  

We are inherently social beings, and as humans we have the capacity for neuronal mirroring.  Mirroring happens when mirror neurons in the premotor cortex area of your brain respond to an observed behavior or mood of another person as if YOU were actually engaged in that behavior or mood yourself!  So rather than finding comfort and relief, as we unconsciously mimic moods and behaviors, we actually deepen our misery and ultimately habituate the practice of complaining.  That habit of complaining doesn’t make anyone happy.  And you don’t even have to be the complainer!!  Studies show that 30 minutes of LISTENING to someone complain impacts our health and wellbeing just as much as BEING the complainer for that 30 minutes.  The average person complains between 15 – 30 times a day, according to Will Bowen, author of “A Complaint-Free World”.

Have you ever heard the saying “Neurons that fire together wire together”? Neuroscience tells us that repetitive complaining, like any repetitive behavior, re-wires our brains so that the neurons branch out toward each other to create a more permanent bridge, making future complaining more likely.  Over time, it becomes easier to be negative by defaulting to this now-established neural pathway than it is to be positive, which would require the creation of a new pathway – and that holds true even when what is happening around us changes for the better!  

Mission.org explains this phenomenon perfectly:

“The more you complain about things like flakey friends or being asked to push up a project’s 

deadline, the more neurons in your brain stitch themselves together to easily 

facilitate this kind of information. Before you know it, complaining becomes so 

easy for your brain to grasp, you start doing it without even consciously registering

the behavior.”

A Stanford University study using high resolution MRI’s found that complaining or listening to complaining can result in actual damage to our brains by shrinking the hippocampus.  Equally concerning, chronic high cortisol levels, besides triggering our flight-or-fight response, are now thought to damage the hippocampus in the same way.   The hippocampus is an area critical to memory formation, learning, emotional regulation and problem solving.  It is also one of the primary areas of the brain destroyed in Alzheimer’s Disease.

Who wants that???  And what can we do to shift?

Here is a summary of tips offered by the Cleveland Clinic to interrupt the habit of complaint – whether you notice it in yourself or your peers, friends, family:

  •  Look at the big picture – will this really matter in 5 minutes/months/years?  If the answer is “yes” see #5
  • Ask yourself if this IS the issue?  Is “this” (whatever it is) really pushing your buttons or is there something going on that is deeper, harder, more personal.
  • Make it a game!  Wear a bracelet or rubber band around your wrist – and every time you notice yourself complaining (even silently) shift it to the opposite wrist.  The goal is to keep your rubber-band bracelet on the same wrist for longer and longer periods of time.
  • Share legitimate concerns in the right time and place – not on social media, not in a public hallway or shared space.
  • When something really matters, share your concern in a way that is seen as helpful rather than critical. Be a part of the solution!
  • When you offer a valid complaint, start and end with a positive statement. When we start with negative words, no one can hear anything else we say. When we end with negative words, no one can remember what we said before.  This sandwiches your concern between caring statements– and makes all the difference to others and to YOU!!
  • Practice gratitude.  If negativity has become a habit for you or those around you, noticing one small thing daily for which you are thankful can begin to forge a new, positive neural pathway!!

Our invitation to you is to experiment with a “no complaint day” – and see what happens to your energy, your mood, your level of contentment and satisfaction.  

And if you like it, start building new neuronal bridges!!!

 

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-stop-complaining-7-secrets-to-being-happier/

https://news.stanford.edu/pr/96/960814shrnkgbrain.html

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6616250/

https://www.southernliving.com/news/complaining-changes-your-brain

https://m1psychology.com/complaining-is-bad-for-your-brain/

Reflections for a New Year

Rory Gilbert, M.Ed., SPHR, SHRM-SCP on January 7, 2020

The New Year is a wonderful time of reflection, to think about where we’ve been, where we are and where we want to be. Rather than making resolutions that slip away within a month, how can you use this time to create meaningful and intentional strategies for your professional future?
Where am I?
The first step in this reflection is to think about where you are in your career.  Are you still on an upward path?  Are you looking for new opportunities within your organization or across your profession? Are you in a position that satisfies you? How do you go deeper and continue to grow within the position? Are you winding down in your career?  Ready for new but less demanding opportunities? And, do you have a realistic sense of direction – of your potential, of where you are and where you can go?
Who am I?
So step two is self-reflection, how much do we know ourselves.  How open are we to possibilities? How much do we acknowledge our own strengths?  How confident are we in our skills and capabilities? How comfortable are we in taking risks? How adept are we at looking into the future? How do we see ourselves as leaders?
This aspect of self-reflection can benefit from a variety of tools and assessments.  Consider CliftonStrengths[1] (formerly Strengths Finder) that helps us learn which of some 36 strengths help us to best achieve our goals.  When I think of my colleagues, I am always amazed by the talents they bring to the table.  Dorothy Sisneros, one of Thunderbird’s managing partners, knocks my socks off all the time with two of her top strengths as a futurist and a maximizer.  When we work together, I’ll talk about a plan (I’m very present oriented) and Dorothy will ask questions about future impacts and possibilities, things I never even begin to think about. She’ll think about how we can best use our people resources using her maximizer strength.  I always learn from her perspective.
I recognize my own ability to synthesize ideas and take big picture concepts down to practical applications and appreciate detail-oriented people who ask questions to get us even further in implementation.
Knowing what we are good at, what we love to do and how to interface those skills with people who have other talents is critical to success.  I want to talk more about the people interface in a minute, but first I want us to dig a little deeper into our own styles.
We’ve mentioned DiSC numerous times in our blogs…one of our favorite assessment tools.  It helps to understand our way of approaching our work and allows us to consider how our preferred approach can be an asset or a liability.
So, as we consider future career decisions, DiSC can help us recognize where we are on a caution v. risk spectrum.  Are you more likely to “ready, fire, aim,” or get paralyzed in analysis? I have a tendency to look at everything as possible and exciting – yes, I/we can do that.  I’ve learned that it helps me to find more cautious people who will help me identify the risks, the questions that need to be answered before I jump in.  By the same token, I’ve worked with folks who prefer a full year of planning before they implement a project.  Together, we’ve found a middle ground to pilot strategies and get the project started sooner rather than later.
Where are you on the risk/caution spectrum?  How does this relate to finding opportunities and being prepared to take them?  In the McKinsey Quarterly[2], they report that women are more likely to believe they need 100% of requirements before they apply for a position, where men will reach for a new possibility if they have about 60% of requirements.  What does this say about confidence (and social conditioning)? DiSC D’s and I’s are also more likely to take a leap where S’s and C’s will hold back, study, analyze and have higher expectations of themselves before they step forward.
How ready do you have to be?
Who Can Help?
And this is where the third step in reflection comes in: using colleagues, mentors and friends to help us expand our perspectives – whether to keep us from jumping without a parachute or moving us forward out of our comfort zone.  Who are the people in your life who see you better than you see yourself? Who will challenge you, support you and encourage you?
As you reflect on your next steps, use your people resources to help you refine your focus on your self, your capacity and your potential.  Brene Brown recommends identifying trusted friends and allies where you can be fully human and vulnerable.  Who are the people in your life who can see you at your worst and be there will you, and still lift you up.
Tom Rath[3] describes 8 necessary roles people need to fill for us to achieve success in the workplace. He describes a “vital connection” as a person who “measurably improves your life or a person you can’t afford to live without.”  Think about the important people in your life.
Rath’s eight roles are: navigator, connector, collaborator, builder, companion, champion, mind opener and energizer.  No one person can or should fill all of these roles. As you consider your direction in 2020, who do you need right now in order to move to the next step in your career.  Is it a mind opener? An energizer? A connector?
I think back to a mind opener in my life from very early in my career. I still remember a conversation I had with a professor when I was in graduate school. He said something to me about taking the lead on a project.  I replied that I was not a leader, I was a follower. He looked at me earnestly and said, “that may have been true in the past, but it is not true now.  You need to rethink how you define yourself.”  That conversation happened some 40 years ago and I’ve never forgotten it.  In that moment, I had to rethink who I was, eliminate old messages and baggage, and consider the possibility that I had leadership qualities.
How do you see yourself as a leader? Are you stuck in a singular, old leadership picture?  How do you influence others? What skills and capacities do you bring to leadership?  We know that the most effective leaders are thoughtful, humble, and good listeners as well as inspiring and visionary.  Be careful that you do not recognize your own capacity for leadership and growth.
Who helps you rethink who you are? Who sees things in you that you don’t see in yourself?  Jill, my colleague on this blog, is an amazing partner for me.  Not only is she a collaborator, but she builds me up and increases my confidence in writing and she energizes me.  Talking with her always leaves me more excited about my work.
Who Can I Help?
And that bring me to the fourth step in New Year’s reflections.  Who do you support, build up, energize, champion, challenge?  Consider that these roles are always a give and take.  How are you growing others.  Who can you invite into a conversation at the start of this New Year and help them see possibilities and opportunities they might otherwise miss?
References:
[1] https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/252137/home.aspx
[2] Desvaux, G. et. al. (September, 2008) A Business Case for Women, The McKinsey Quarterly.
[3] Rath, T. (2006). Vital Friends. Gallup Press: New York.