A “Professional” Beach Read: Dare to Lead

What a treat it is to read a book about leadership and discover its robustness for areas of my life beyond work! It is also a challenge to write about a book in which I have highlighted nearly half the passages. Reader beware. You will want to own it too.This is one book I can definitely recommend for anyone’s bookshelf. . . Leaders alike, all ages, all roles, and people without traditional work or leader titles who are looking to be more effective human beings. Mental health’s David meets organization’s Goliath.
Brené Brown’s book[1], Dare to Lead: Brave work. Tough conversations. Whole Hearts., has been referred by several of my Thunderbird colleagues. I read it quickly in a few days, and devoured it again while on a camping trip with time for deep reading while the guys went fishing. This is a most accessible book. I felt like Brené was sitting across my picnic table with a cold glass of sweet tea. She writes a lot like she talks, she tells us, and her voice comes through loud and clear, wholesome and funny, gutsy and to the point.
Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, is a research professor at the University of Houston. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy and has written five New York Times best sellers. Her TED talk – the Power of Vulnerability- is one of the top five most-viewed TED talks in the world. One of the things that most impressed me about the book is her consistent integration of on-the-ground stories and feedback from participants and interviewees with her years of research, looking for explanation and confirmation (or not) in the data and published literature. This book has a lot to offer, and it’s not “just” anecdotal evidence.
The examples throughout are powerful. Brené skillfully weaves stories from her life; personal, marital, family, her own businesses and detailed testimonials from clients and participants. One story that captured me was Colonel DeDe Halfhill’s powerful writing about being vulnerable as a leader in the Air Force. At a presentation’s Q&A segment, DeDe listened to airmen tell her how tired they were, asking if they’d ever get a break. She acknowledged their tiredness and then shared an article she read addressing the topic of loneliness disguised as tiredness. Without knowing where the conversation would lead, she asked how many in her audience were lonely. DeDe was shocked at the number of raised hands, approximately one-quarter. She wasn’t sure where to take the conversation, but using tools she had learned from Brené’s work with her team, she pressed on, and then brought the issue forward to other leaders. Today DeDe takes every opportunity she can to speak about loneliness and suicide, a crisis topic for our military.
Early on, Brené shares a powerful quote attributed to Theodore Roosevelt.[2]
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again…who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.
She refers many times throughout about the necessary steps of practicing, trying, falling, getting up and trying again, and learning. The notion that we can develop these skills by reading a book or attending a class is totally unfounded. . . hogwash. It takes PRACTICE! Dare to Lead is packed with tools everywhere and through links on her website. She has divided the book into four main sections which she describes as skill sets that can be mastered. The skills are vulnerability, living into our values, braving trust and learning to rise.
Part One, Rumbling with Vulnerability, occupies the most development. In this section Brené lays the foundation that fear is the greatest obstacle we face in daring leadership, but it is our RESPONSE to fear, not fear itself, that determines how well we will do.
She identifies six myths about vulnerability, and counters each one with strategies to overcome them. Myth #1: Vulnerability is weakness; Myth #2: I don’t do vulnerability; Myth #3: I can go it alone; Myth #4: You can engineer the uncertainty and discomfort out of vulnerability; Myth #5: Trust comes before vulnerability; Myth #6: Vulnerability is disclosure. Personally, I resonated most with engineering the uncertainty and discomfort out. . . I love to plan in order to not have my inadequacies exposed, don’t you? She helped me see that the obsessive planning really only takes away the potential for joy in my life. In dealing with trust, she makes the case that trust is earned in the smallest of moments, not big earth-shattering events.
Brené develops 16 areas of “armored” leadership with the “daring” leadership response to each one. She touches on perfectionism, being right versus getting it right, power over rather than power with, to and within, weaponizing fear and uncertainty instead of acknowledging and normalizing them, to name just a few.
Part One concludes with useful material on empathy, sympathy, shame and guilt, and how shame shows up at work, easily institutionalized into unhealthy and unproductive workplaces. Empathy is the great antidote to shame and can be parsed into learnable skills. Again, it takes practice.
Part Two: Living into Our Values, was a thought-provoking and challenging section. Brené links all our decision-making to its congruence with our values, and dares the reader to limit yourself to two values only that express the essence of who you are. She offers a huge list to draw from, and then describes a process to guide the practice of these values. What does simplicity look like? How do I know when I am not living up to a particular value? How can I get back on track? Included in this section is a nice discussion of giving and receiving feedback, how to know that you are really ready for a tough conversation, and how to be present.
Part Three: Braving Trust is a gem of a section! I really appreciate work that helps to operationalize a big important concept like trust. She shares a trust inventory that allows you to measure your individual level of trustworthiness based on seven behaviors. The elements make up the acronym BRAVING: boundaries, reliability, accountability, vault (sharing your information, not that of others), integrity, non-jugdement, and generosity. One idea that stood out for me in the area of non-judgement was this one. We don’t ask for help for many reasons, but that can be a real obstacle for us and our development as leaders. Here’s a quote.[3]
We asked a thousand leaders—what do your team members do that earns your trust? The most common answer: asking for help. When it comes to people who do not habitually ask for help, the leaders we polled explained that they would not delegate important work to them because the leaders did not trust that they would raise their hands and ask for help. Mind. Blown.
Part Four: Learning to Rise contains obvious ideas that never seem to be put into practice! In order to help people be brave and courageous at work, to try new things, to risk falling, to withstand the inevitable slings and arrows, we need to prepare them. . .  for falling, AND for getting back up. Brené points out that many organizations talk about falling and the acceptance of failure, but they ignore implementing supportive actions that help people want to try again.
One “rising” skill she suggests for starters is this. When things don’t go right and are pretty messed up, step back and ask yourself a version of these three questions: “The story I’m telling myself. . . The story I make up. . . I make up that. . .”  Is your answer “I am a failure” or “He has never wanted this department to succeed” or “This is the first step they are taking to lay me off” or fill in your own blank here. Acknowledge that this is a story you are telling yourself, get curious about and seek the real answer/s to the situation, and move forward.
I hope my appreciation of Dare to Lead, and the cookie crumbs I have dropped along the way entice you to flip open this book and see what leaps out for you. Dare to Lead is a book I plan to pull off the shelf and enjoy for a long time. Thank you, Brené Brown!
For more about the author, books, articles and resources visit her website at www.brenebrown.com
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[1] Brown, B. 2018. Dare to lead: brave work. Tough conversations. Whole hearts. Random House. New York.
[2] Brown, Brené. Dare to Lead (p. xvii). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
[3]Brown, Brené. Dare to Lead (p. 228). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Tip of the Month, June 2019 – Tips on Passing the Torch

In this month’s blog (click here), Jill discussed how we pass on information, knowledge and wisdom when we are leaving a position and/or a role.  She also discussed commitment to one’s profession, where passing the torch is also about advancing one’s profession to new members of one’s discipline.
In Tips, this month, we will explore strategies to pass the torch across generations, to new members of our field of study and in succession planning.
The most important tip in this article is to be clear about your values and your way of being.  If your goal is to win at all costs, this column is probably not for you.  If you have a desire to improve yourself, develop others, advance your profession and contribute to bettering your organization and its outcomes, then be courageous; share what you know and be open to learn from others.
In The Career Handoff[1], Steinbinder and Ganann (our very own Thunderbird people!) identify six strategies to pass on information.  All of these strategies are relevant throughout your career life cycle.  Thank you to Steinbinder, Ganann, Malloch and Porter-O’Grady for providing the framework for our tips this month.
I: Mentoring is mentioned throughout the book.  It is usually perceived as a more experienced professional/leader imparting knowledge, wisdom and opportunity to a newer/lower ranked individual in the organization.  Mentoring has always been done informally where mentor and mentee self-select and develop a supportive relationship.
One of the challenges with self-selection is that it tends to exclude people of difference from mentorship.  Senior male leaders may be afraid to mentor incoming women for fear that they would look predatory.  People of different race/ethnicities may not self-select or be selected because of cultural barriers or discomfort.  This can result in inequities in advancement for people of difference.  So more formal mentoring programs have been designed to facilitate inclusive growth opportunities.
Effective formal mentoring programs provide clear expectations and role definition for the mentoring relationship and also recognize that both mentor and mentee benefit.  The official mentor offers institutional knowledge, professional wisdom and development opportunities to the mentee.  In a healthy relationship, the mentee also offers important knowledge and wisdom – perspectives from areas of difference (generation, gender, race/ethnicity, technology knowledge, etc.) to expand the mentor’s world view.  This notion of cross-mentoring honors what each member of the relationship contributes and enriches the outcomes for the individuals, the organization and the profession.
Mentoring can still be informal and can start from anywhere.  A college student can mentor high school students interested in the same career path.  A senior in college can mentor freshmen.  A new professional can mentor those in training.  As you can see, passing the torch can start very early.
What do you share?  The Career Handoff differentiates information, knowledge, wisdom and insights. Information is the data, content, how-to’s; knowledge includes application and context; wisdom describes the why’s of application, and insights are those amazing “aha!” moments we celebrate.  In a mentoring relationship there may be times when information and knowledge are shared, but the power of mentoring comes from wisdom sharing and moments of insight (for both the mentor and the mentee).  This often happens through the second handoff strategy, storytelling.
II: Storytelling is a way of transferring knowledge at a deeper level, including context, emotion and humility in the delivery. It humanizes the storyteller and allows for empathy, access and connection even across differences in role, status or personal identity.  Through empathy, we build bonds of understanding that strengthen the learning experience.  We remember stories, we remember the lessons and we care about the story teller.
It is a powerful way to share difficult and uncomfortable lessons, to learn more about individual perspectives as well as organizational culture. It is a way to keep organizational history alive without stifling growth and change.
III: Powerful Questions can be used in both formal mentoring sessions and informal “mentoring moments.”  Rather than “telling” others what to think or what to do, the mentor, the wise or experienced person, invites the other person to teach themselves through open-ended exploratory questions.  Tell me how you came to this conclusion? What was your thought process?  What would happen if? In your mentor role, ask from a position of curiosity, not with a single answer in mind.  (Don’t lead the witness.) You may be surprised and learn something new from your mentee about a different approach to the issue.
IV: Career Planning is another aspect of passing the torch.  What does an individual need to know or do to advance and/or grow in their career? What opportunities are available to them? Once again formal or informal mentoring plays a significant role.  Remember that the old way of advancing may no longer apply.  Generationally, we have different expectations for how we advance.  Boomers believe in “paying one’s dues,” whereas subsequent generations believe in earning one’s place based on abilities and knowledge, not time in the trenches.
One of the most powerful aspects of career planning is helping an individual see possibilities they did not even consider.  Recently a senior administrator I work with was describing a conversation with a newer member of his profession.  He asked her if she had considered applying for an open first-level management position. She responded that she had not because she is not a leader-type.  He pointed out to her that she was indeed a leader-type as he observed the way her colleagues sought out her opinions and advice.  In that 90 second conversation, there was a mentor-moment (a possible “aha!” as well) and a chance for the newer professional to rethink her career trajectory.
V: Collaboration is a practical application of sharing knowledge and wisdom across generations, life experience and expertise.  In successful collaborations, all participants contribute to a successful outcome from their areas of strength in an environment of mutual respect.  If you are the wise elder of the group, be careful not to impose your opinions early on.  Allow your collaborative team to find its voice and direction. Observe their way of problem solving.  Insert your wisdom and perspective in a way that adds strength and context to the team.
VI: Recognitions and Celebrations are ways to honor contributions while ensuring that the torch is passed. Storytelling as a strategy in recognition and celebration offers context, history and emphasizes organizational and professional values.
We always have the opportunity to “pass the torch,” to share what we know and understand with others no matter where we are in our career.  It requires us to be generous with our knowledge rather than fearful that what we share will be used against us or to best us.  Consider “passing the torch” as a way of being and a way of thinking and as Brene Brown might describe it, a whole-hearted practice.
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[1] Malloch, K. And Porter O’Grady, T (eds). (2016). The career handoff: a healthcare leader’s guide to knowledge and wisdom transfer across generations. Sigma Theta Tau International.

Tip of the Month, May 2019 – Engagement Tips for the Individual

In our latest blog titled Engagement Survey, Oh My! read here, Rory (1) challenged the practice of ineffective annual engagement surveys (they are really disengagement surveys, often going nowhere) in favor of flexible and ongoing processes for creating an engaged workforce. Managers need to be really connected and involved with their people all the time in order to make the engaging workplace come alive. Since employee engagement from the organization’s perspective was addressed in the blog, let’s take a look at what fuels engagement from the individual’s perspective. Though these tips are written with the employee in mind, they apply equally to managers/leaders as employees themselves.
How do you show up daily as an engaged and engaging manager? Here are a few tips to consider.

  1. Take employees’ ideas seriously, having a conversation and giving feedback. It is not enough to simply listen and be a conduit. Or worse still, offer all the reasons their idea won’t work. If a staff member brings a suggestion to you, such as having an onsite daycare center, rather than pass it along channels, spend the time to find out more. How do they envision it working? What ideas do they have about location? How many staff members would use it? Are there other ways to provide a daycare benefit without a dedicated space and staff? This time spent in conversation with thoughtful questions shows your relationship with the employee; you have the perspective about some of the questions that need to be addressed in order for their idea to have a greater chance of success. And you are offering yourself as a thought partner, which is empowering.
  2. Ask employees about their goals, daily goals as well as longer term ones. “What are you hoping to accomplish today?” Having a goal for your time is one way for the individual to be more engaged at work. Model the way by having a plan for what you want to accomplish, and share those goals of yours. Help staff see the value of contingency planning for when your plans go awry, as they often do. What happens if you can’t get the new proposal finished today? Can you send just part of it? Does something else need to be taken off your task list?
  3. Collect stories about meaning and contribution at work to share with others, and ask your staff how they know they have made a difference in their work today. Or how would they like to make a difference? Share your personal stories to get the conversation started, but make the conversation about them. Find out what gives them a sense of value and purpose in the work they do with you. Then ask if there is something you can do to further their experience of meaning and purpose at work.
  4. Have regular conversations about their strengths, noting them when possible, and suggesting ways for them to apply and BUILD ON those strengths. Gallup research tells us that an important employee satisfier is the regular opportunity to use one’s strengths at work. Perhaps a staff member is naturally skilled in diffusing difficult customer situations . . . You could suggest they share their tips with newer staff members, and/or offer them the opportunity to to take a class on de-escalation techniques and bring back the information to share at a department meeting. If you have an employee who has a background in visual arts, and has won awards in local contests, you might invite them to submit (or take) photos for your department’s report, newsletter, or wall art.
  5. Surround yourself with engaged people at work and in your personal life, understanding that positive attitudes can rub off, creating an atmosphere of more positivity. Listen for their examples. Nothing succeeds like success, the old adage tells us. And having an environment where you interact with engaged people regularly can help spark your own enthusiasm for whatever you are doing.
  6. Understand the reality of what you can control. Nothing is more disengaging than viewing the “whole world’s problems” and being disheartened or discouraged about a lack of progress. Engaged people have the ability to reframe situations they have control over, even though it may be limited, and finding the lens that focuses on what they CAN influence.

We hope you find these tips useful, and that you are privileged to work every day with employees who say, “I want to work in this organization, for you!”
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References:

  1. Rory Gilbert is a Thunderbird Leadership consultant who is the primary author of TLC’s blog, and contributor, collaborator and partner in Blog and Tips posts.
  2. https://www.hr.com/portals/hrcom/events ShanklandHandout_Gallup%20Q12%20summary%20-%20what%20is%20engagement.pdf (accessed via web 5/2/19)
  3. https://blessingwhite.com/4-steps-to-improve-your/ (accessed via web 4/29/19)
  4. https://brain-smart.com/change-and-resilience/increase-personal-engagement-work/ (accessed via web 4/29/19)

IT IS YOUR JOB!

In Kim Scott’s introduction to her book, Radical Candor[1], she describes a frantic time at work where she was confronted with back to back, high emotion, high stress demands and interruptions. She called her coach and complained, “Is my job to build a great company, or am I really just some sort of emotional babysitter?” Her coach’s response is the most honest and difficult thing that a coach has to say, “This is not babysitting…It’s called management, and it is your job!”
IT IS YOUR JOB!!
Managing people is the hardest and MOST Important part of the work we do. In almost all work environments the cost of “human capital” is the largest part of the budget and yet we prefer to skirt the techniques that produce optimal results. We make sure the automobile fleet gets oil changes, brake checks and lube jobs on schedule, we change the air conditioning filters regularly and schedule a repair call as soon as we hear a funny noise. But when it comes to people, we postpone performance conversations and avoid or couch feedback that would improve an employee’s results because we don’t have the time.
The truth is, even with the myriad of management books, training programs and seminars on the market, we avoid dealing with our employees because of the emotional toll it takes – and the more we avoid addressing issues, the harder it gets.
What I appreciate about Kim Scott’s book is she clarifies the types of responses we make to employees on two axes – “caring personally” and “challenging directly,” and allows us to reflect on the outcomes of each of these approaches.

When we combine caring personally and challenging directly we have radical candor – which is telling people what they need to know in a way that is kind, compassionate and above all, clear.
When we challenge directly without caring personally, we move into obnoxious aggression.  I think about folks who pride themselves on “telling it like it is,” or “brutal honestly.”  The truth is more important than you or your feelings.  Now the plus side of this approach is that at least you know where you stand and what’s going on.  However, as you can imagine, it does not create an environment of trust and safety.  If you need to be ready for the two by four to the back of the head at any moment, you will be keeping energy in reserve that could be better used for creative, productive oriented work.
On the other hand, if we care personally but do not challenge directly, Scott describes a way of engaging she calls ruinous empathy. In this case, I am so worried about your feelings (or perhaps concerned about my own discomfort?) that I only share positives, hedge about any issues or concerns, and never tell you what I really think or what is really needed.  Scott shares a story of having to terminate an employee who was producing poor quality work over ten months. During the termination interview he asked, “but why didn’t you tell me?”  How much do we invest in failed hires that could have been saved with more clarity early on?
What is significant about ruinous empathy is how much damage it does under the guise of being nice: loss of trust, loss of relationship, loss of quality work, loss of time, loss of employee morale.  There is nothing nice about it.
And finally, in the fourth quadrant we have manipulative insincerity, engagement where the individual doesn’t care and doesn’t challenge.  They avoid the truth, say what needs to be said to get through the moment and move on without any relationship or feedback at all.  At least with ruinous empathy there is a sense that the person actually cares and is just stuck in “nice” mode.  Here we’ve got nothing.
Scott challenges us to assess our own actions and responses whether as a manager or a colleague.  Few of us get it right all of the time, but by being cognizant of what we are doing and the impact our actions are likely to have, we have the opportunity to change and improve.
And that is where the book gets even more interesting! Because in amongst the stories and examples, Scott provides useful recommendations on how to begin to implement radical candor in the workplace.  It is solid people-management best-practice!
She discusses strategies for both formal and just-in-time performance feedback, team development, addressing bias, structuring meetings and getting results. And, she provides time frames and time lines to address the anxiety about how to do all that and “my real job!”
Ultimately, it is about creating an environment where employees can “bring their best selves to work.”
Check out her book and go to her website: radicalcandor.com
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[1] Scott, Kim. (2017)  Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity. New York: St. Martins Press.

Lessons Learned – 2018

By: Rory Gilbert with much input from Carla Rotering!

December is a wonderful time to reflect on how we have grown and what we have learned in the past year.  As a leader, time for reflection is critical to our overall effectiveness – it keeps us engaged, mindful and humble. I hope you take some time to consider what has changed and what you have learned this year.
What have I learned for myself?  The biggest learning for me has been very personal.  I’ve learned to accept the kindness and support from my friends and colleagues and to reach out in support as well.  My focus in the past has been on success and achievement. This year I’ve really seen how important my relationships are for my life.  In fact, after this year’s Summit I was inspired to write to a few of my colleagues in appreciation.
I’ve asked Carla Rotering’s permission to share what I captured from her Summit presentation on Belonging.
Carla’s premise requires a change of mindset from understanding belonging as something that comes from other people, to belonging as a way of being.  Belonging is about how we approach the world.  She shared her own story of feeling like an outsider, of “longing to belong.” Her childhood story resonated with my own story of feeling different, like an outsider, waiting and hoping to be included.  Somehow, we believe we are separated based on our “worth,” and our own beliefs: believing ourselves less than and too small banishes us to a solitary experience. She shared a poem by Creig Crippen (also known as Prodigy) to capture this mindset shift.

Do not chase love,
Choose love.
Do not need love,
Share love.
Do not fear love,
Embrace love.
Do not seek love,
Become love.

While we thirst for connection, to be part of something greater than ourselves, we assume that it comes from out there. Here’s one way I’ve come to think about it. Imagine you are at a party and you do not know anyone.  It is not your party and you see everyone else having fun, talking to each other.  You wait, hoping to catch someone’s eye, someone’s interest. And you wait.  Now, imagine the same party where you see yourself as a host – still don’t know anyone, and yet, now you feel a sense of responsibility to make connections, to introduce yourself to others, to introduce others to each other.  You see yourself as a necessary participant in the success of the party.
For some people, this experience of engaging is natural.  For others of us, it is a new and different way of being.  Think about how different this feels!
Carla states, “We are not exiled by divine design.  Our busy thinking and our formed beliefs create doubts and fears, insecurities and cautions meant to keep us safe. When we believe those thoughts, we live in the feeling of isolation and separation – a misunderstanding.  You are not required to believe those thoughts.  The door to belonging opens from the inside. Be liberated. Be free. WE ARE BORN INTO BELONGING.”

it was when I stopped searching for home within others
and lifted the foundations of home within myself
I found there were no roots more intimate
than those between a mind and body
that have decided to be whole
~ rupi kaur

This way of thinking, separating ourselves from the whole, may in fact be a product of our western culture that celebrates the individual.  Carla reminds us that other cultures and societies believe differently.  She shared the concept of Ubuntu, a Nguni Bantu term meaning “humanity.” It is often translated as “I am because we are.” It “is often used in a more philosophical sense to mean ‘the belief in a universal bond of sharing that connects all humanity.’”
She shared Desmond Tutu’s view of Ubuntu, “A person with ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs to a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed.”
Ubuntu, a sense of belonging, a way of being, is a choice for us. It requires us to challenge our often unexplored beliefs about how we are and who we are in the world.  And then it challenges us to act from those beliefs, not in grand gestures, but in small invitations to bring others in.
As we approach the new year, it is a wonderful time for us to step back and think about what we value and how we live those values.  Carla asks,

What are the invitations you are extending to the world?

What invitations are being offered to you that you may not be seeing?

Greet the new year by embracing the gift of connectedness that each of us can orchestrate from where we sit in this world.
And finally, to my dear colleagues (Carla included), I think this captures how I feel and what I’ve learned.  I am printing it here to publicly profess how important my colleagues are to my professional life and my personal well-being.
Of all the wonderful parts of this year’s Summit, I was most touched by Carla’s work on Belonging.  I think I share that sense of being an outsider — lingering on the edge of a group. Carla’s description about Belonging coming from within really resonated with me — that I realize what is most important right now to me is my connection to others.  And you all are such important pieces of my world.  While we mostly connect through shared work experiences, we have also shared life experiences, support and care.  I am so grateful for the space you make for me in your lives. You are such extraordinary colleagues and I am honored to be with you in this world.

2018 Leadership Summit Summary – Being on Purpose

Wow! Where did the time go?  Isn’t that how we feel about this time of year?  Suddenly Halloween has come and gone, Thanksgiving is past and the days just count themselves to the end of the year.
On November 9th, Thunderbird Leadership Consulting and BoxCar International hosted its twelfth annual Leadership Summit.  Dorothy Sisneros, Carla Rotering and Amy Steinbinder had the vision to bring leaders together for a special day designed to strengthen and renew us. Unlike other leadership programs, it is about turning inward and honoring and learning about ourselves to make a difference in our personal and professional lives.
This year’s program, Being on Purpose: Small Enough to Manage, Big Enough to Matter, was an amazing exploration of what matters and how it matters.  We modeled the day on Emily Esfahani Smith’s work, The Power of Meaning[1]. Dorothy Sisneros welcomed everyone and shared the process used by the Planning Team each year to create these amazing programs.  We listen, we observe, we read and we sense throughout the year and then share our insights and ideas to build the program.  The Planning Team nailed it again this year.
Amy Johnson[2] was our first keynote speaker.  Her role was to set the stage for the day and to explore Purpose in our lives.  She challenged us to listen deeply to ourselves and not get caught up in what we should be doing.  She quoted Einstein and challenged us to differentiate “the intuitive mind which is a sacred gift, and the rational mind, a faithful servant. We honor the servant and forget the gift.” What we learned and heard from Amy was to trust our inner voice, our intuition, and not feel pressured to constantly do, to constantly force ourselves forward.  She said, “finding purpose is not about proving our worthiness, purpose has to find us, like finding love.”
What a way to start the day – to step back, to allow life to speak to us instead of feeling compelled to force our way through the dense forest.  She quoted people like this quote from Tony Bennett to Amy Winehouse, “life teaches you how to live it if you slow down long enough to listen.”  That is a powerful message especially at this time of the year.  Dustin Fennell lead the group through several activities to build on Amy’s messages.
Carla Rotering spoke next about Belonging.  In a concise and powerful presentation, Carla changed the way we think of Belonging.  It is not so much about others as it is about my “way of being in the world.”  She encouraged us not to wait for invitations for connections but to recognize that we have the capacity to reach out and connect because we already come from a greater whole.  Ruth Ballard took the group through activities to reinforce the messages.  Carla and Kevin Monaco teamed to offer a music meditation to set the stage for the rest of the day.
Then Sat Kartar Khalsa-Ramey spoke to us about Transcendence.  Sat Kartar is an ordained Sikh Dharma minister and a certified ACPE Educator Emeritus with the Association for Clinical Pastoral Education (ACPE). Her presentation was personal, current and moving as she shared her story and we sat rapt on her every word.  Transcendence was about how we deal with what life gives us, the choices we make, the connections we maintain as we travel difficult, unexplored highways.  We were privileged to share her yet-unfinished journey interwoven with Soul Collage[3] activities – that transported us from her journey to our own. Rory Gilbert helped us focus on the final pillar around Storytelling.  We found meaning and belonging and understanding of the power of Storytelling to make sense of our world.
So many people shaped the Summit.  Our wonderful planning team made everything possible.
We particularly want to thank three remarkable contributors to our day.

  • Kevin Monaco (composer and musician) – Kevin’s music wrapped meaning around the day, connected us to belonging and transcendence and created an atmosphere of significance to all that we did. Learn more about Kevin and his music at: https://kevinmonacomusic.com
  • Heather Marie Paslay (massage therapist) – Heather provided chair massages throughout the breaks in the day. For those who were able to benefit from Heather’s healing way, the day was that much more enjoyable and fulfilling.  Heather can be reached at paslaymaire@yahoo.com
  • Steph Martini (graphic artist) – Steph recorded the day as it enfolded. She captured the what, the why and the feel of our shared experience and walked us through her masterpiece as a summary to the day. To connect with Steph about her work, please connect with her at stephmartini63@gmail.com

In keeping with Summit tradition, we held a Silent Auction that raised over $3,000 for three deserving charities: Hospice of the Valley, Homicide Survivors and UMOM.
The Summit was an extraordinary day to connect with members of our Thunderbird Leadership and BoxCar community, to enjoy a deep and meaningful experience with new and old friends and colleagues.  More information about the day will appear on the Thunderbird Leadership Consulting website and we are already beginning to think about what will happen next year.  Tentatively hold November 15, 2019 on your calendar for “a spa day for the soul.”
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[1] Smith, Emily Esfahani (2017) The Power of Meaning: Finding Fulfillment in a World Obsessed with Happiness. Broadway Books, New York.
[2] Johnson, Amy (2013) Being Human, Essays on Thoughtmares, Bouncing Back, and Your True Nature. Self-published.
[3]For more information:  https://www.creativepilgrimage.com/soulcollage/

Build Bridges – Structures We Sorely Need Right Now

We are living in a very difficult time where we are viewing the world from polar extremes.  This becomes a challenge in the workplace where even a hint of one’s political affiliation may be enough to impact a work relationship, damaging trust, confidence and credibility. Many of us were raised with instructions never to discuss religion or politics in public settings…and this is one way to avoid problems.  But perhaps we’ve been damaged by this rule…where we only talk about our beliefs (religion, politics, etc.) with like-minded people, and we only get our news/input from like-minded media outlets.
By doing this, we remain comfortable and secure in our own world view and those that do not agree are “the other.”  How does this fit with what we know about productivity, innovation and risk management in the workplace which rely on encouraging diverse perspectives? For these diverse perspectives to be effectively utilized, we need to learn to be able to listen, suspend judgments and be open to possibilities.  And the data indicate that companies that master this are ultimately the most profitable.
We know these skills are learnable.  They are not mysterious…but they do require a willingness to try something different. What would happen if we committed to using these same skills to bridge the divides that are causing so much pain in our world today?  What would happen if we took the time to:

  • Actively listen – hear what the other person is saying and confirm that what you think you heard is what they said. When people feel heard they are more willing to seek understanding as well – even if we do not agree.
  • Suspend judgment – don’t prepare your rebuttal while they are talking – consider the possibility that they have a reason for their point of view (that they are not a (insert your favorite denigrating term here for someone who doesn’t agree with you).
  • Be open to possibilities – what if they actually said something that made sense – how could you fold that into your belief system without it crumbling like a house of cards?

We know that it is easier to do these steps with people we care about and in fact, when we understand where people are coming from, their story, we hold them with respect and compassion.
So perhaps we need to start with a new first step – first hear people’s stories. Use active listening, suspending judgment and being open to possibilities as we learn more about how someone came to be where they are…and they can learn how we came to our place as well.
Stories bring us together, they build empathy, trust and compassion…they build bridges – structures we sorely need right now.
Emily Esfahani Smith, author of The Power of Meaning, began her studies researching what makes people happy.  She discovered that happiness is just transitory comfort and ease.  What provides people with resilience, strength and satisfaction is meaning and she defined four pillars to living a life of fulfillment and meaning.  They are belonging, purpose, transcendence and storytelling.
I see these pillars operating to help us not only find our own meaning but to share in a larger sense of meaning in this world.  I spent a number of years as a member of a local Rotary club.  There were only about 20 of us in this particular club so we knew each other pretty well and we came from very different political, religious and other perspectives…and we knew it.  However, we were all committed to making the world a better place.  We ascribed to slogans like “Peace through service.”  We joined together to help at-risk youth, to support the annual Veteran’s Day parade, to support literacy, feed the hungry, and ensure folks got dental care…and we supported global projects to bring clean water to remote communities and to eradicate polio.
This was amazing work!  We found meaning and purpose together.  And we spent time learning about each other.  Once a month, a member was invited to tell their story – both professional and personal.  Suddenly an 80-year-old retiree was a daring fighter pilot again, a 25-year-old “kid” was a courageous peace corps volunteer, we learned more about the police commander, the healthcare worker and the immigrant. Each of us emerged as whole, complex human beings.
It takes time and effort, it takes desire to know our neighbors and not hide away.
Imagine how telling our stories can bring us closer to belonging as we learn to understand each other, how we might find shared purpose in our lives and transcend our small divided viewpoints for a broader and more promising whole.
If you’d like a chance to explore meaning and purpose in community, consider joining us on November 9th for the 12 Annual Leadership Summit.  Share in conversation with some 70 other curious, courageous and unlike minded people to find a way of Being on Purpose.  Click here to find out more information.
 
 

Leading intentionally – a life-long learning process

Guest contributor – Dr. Jan Gehler
Dr. Jan Gehler retired from the Presidency of Scottsdale Community College in August of this year.  Thunderbird Leadership has been privileged to work and collaborate with her during her tenure and asked her to share her reflections on the work of leadership as she moves on to the next chapter of her life.
Planning for and executing a process for individual and team development requires a belief in the importance of life-long learning. A successful executive understands – and models – learning as a basic skill.  As educators we continually affirm the importance of such learning for our students and staff, but sadly we often ‘don’t get around to it for ourselves,’ and by extension for our leadership team . The higher the level of position we hold, the more confidence we gain, the easier it is to eschew formal learning or the wisdom of others. As in every other area of leadership, we must ‘model the way.’
Within a leader’s ‘life-long-learning’ curriculum is the task of becoming self-aware.  When we ARE self-aware, we constantly assess our thoughts and actions against the audience, the environment, the issues. Where do we need to step up and assert, where do we need to hold back, listen, trust others and wait? For some, this ‘sense’ of how we best lead is instinctive; for others, it must be learned, and yet for others, it’s a combination of learning to ‘trust’ one’s gut, coupled with the skills and understanding gained through experience, through formal and informal learning. It can be difficult, amid the noise of the moment and the competing ‘styles’ that give way to conflicting opinions and direction, to pick up the ‘cues’ for best action or decisions. The practice that comes with formal and informal learning can make the path through tough decisions, if not easier, at least simpler and more familiar.
Over many years as an education administrator, I’ve come to know myself pretty well. I am clear about the source of the values, habits and practices that I learned from my family of origin. I am a classic middle child, driven instinctively to find peace and balance. I have also learned that I am able to work inductively and deductively; most people have strengths in one direction. I can work both ways, and I often take the time to do that when considering important decisions or trying to solve complex problems; my approach can frustrate others who think more linearly. I came to this awareness over years spent in learning about myself, about what constitutes effective leadership, how to build and support an exceptional leadership team, i.e. through life-long learning.
Recognizing my own ‘needs and style,’ the profiles of my leadership team, the needs of the institution, the political environment, etc. there are several standard thinking processes that I’ve employed. If I have any advice for up-coming leaders, it would include:

  1. devote time, energy and resources to individual and team development;
  2. take time individually and as a team to ask “what if” questions, to explore all options and creative, if not crazy ideas;
  3. examine every decision, solution, proposal by viewing it through a series of lenses, asking yourself and your team ‘are there implications for HR, for IT, for PR, for budget, for other divisions, in this decision, this strategy?’;
  4. pause long enough to consider the generational question, i.e. what are the second and third waves of effect of this decision? Always consider the PR implications for the students, the faculty, the institution, the community, your partners, etc. Think this through yourself and ask your team to discuss their answers openly.

I am a high “S” (using the DiSC profiles) which means I take the time I need to think through these questions. I tend to think through the ‘worst case’ and then determine if I/we can live with that; if so or if we can mitigate the challenges, then presto, we move forward. Needless-to-say my “D” and “I” (action-oriented) colleagues can grow weary of my style. But over the years, they have taught me to move more quickly, as I have taught them to move more thoughtfully (for the longer term). We have learned together how best to lead together and found executive team development to be an invaluable tool.
When it is well done, executive team development provides individuals with new insights about their own skills, their own knowledge (what they know and what they need to learn) and as important, perspective/attitude. How do you think of your role as an administrator among other administrators? Back to the lenses!  Your role is not unilateral. It requires seeing from all perspectives. It is stewardship. You have affirmed by taking the position to do as much as you can to help the organization achieve its mission. Individual and team development is an essential strategy to achieve that mission.
The group work is uncomfortable by design – we are called to dig deep and share; remember the old group development idea? – forming, storming, norming, performing.  We have gone through that trajectory – AND it has to happen every time the constellation changes.
Frankly, it is fun to learn and grow together.  It is fun to have discoveries of what we are and aren’t doing.  A good facilitator will call us on our stuff – to have moments, if we are paying attention, that increase self-awareness. I don’t know an administrator who doesn’t need that to avoid being blinded by our ego, our title and our successes.
– Dr. Jan Gehler
 
 

The Resilient Nurse Leader Coaching Series: An Interview with Amy Steinbinder

The healthcare industry continues to be faced with so many interacting challenges: rising costs, unstable funding, sustaining an adequate, engaged and experienced workforce, creating a positive patient experience, ensuring high reliability and implementing innovation. Thunderbird Leadership’s Managing Partner, Amy Steinbinder, PhD, RN, NE-BC, agreed to tell us about her work supporting nurse leaders during these turbulent times.  Amy describes it this way, “demands within the nursing profession and within the healthcare industry are constantly in whitewater.  All the rapids are a 10 right now.”
Amy asked herself, “How do you maintain your balance and sense of self when things are literally swirling all around you?” And her answer was to develop the Resilient Nurse Leader Coaching Series. “I’d like to be able to assist people to strengthen their own leadership and resiliency – with the goal of personal and professional resilience while achieving career aspirations.”
Why only nurse leaders, why not others in the health care profession?
The Resilient Nurse Leader Coaching Series is focused and targeted because nurse leaders have a tremendous amount of expertise and operational influence in directing patient care delivery. At the same time, there is this growing level of burnout among nurses. The Resilient Nurse Leader Coaching Series supports nurse leaders who then support the thousands of nurses who impact hundreds of thousands of patients every day!”
Amy described a current client who is dealing with the complexity of implementing new technologies and adding building locations while still sustaining high reliability patient care, getting people paid and adapting to continuous innovation and change.  She said, “leaders are not only stretched thin but on a stretching rack – pulled in so many directions. How do they maintain their own core strength so they can be effective in their personal and professional lives?”
What does the Resilient Nurse Leader Coaching Series offer?
The Resilient Nurse Leader Coaching Series offers individual coaching sessions to help Nurse Leaders improve their effectiveness while maintaining personal balance.

  • Coaching will explore executive nurse competencies “to help nurse leaders identify where they are and where they want to be to be effective.”
  • Coaching is an iterative process of learning, applying and reflecting.
  • The process will use a variety of modalities to tap inner wisdom and creativity to gain mastery of the competencies to support the leader’s own leadership style.
  • Leaders will come away with new ideas and defined strategies that they can implement immediately.

What does the coaching look like?

  • Nurse leaders participate in six individual coaching sessions over three months.
  • Sessions are held every two weeks.
  • The first session is 90 minutes and subsequent sessions are 60 minutes.
  • Sessions explore the values that drive the leader’s work and provide the motivation to keep on pressing forward.

“I want to help people identify what they value most in their professional lives, what they want their legacy to be, what they want career wise.” 
What I hear you saying is that for nurse leaders, the coaching time is critically important to ensure clarity of mind, clarity of direction, and strength to keep moving forward.
Amy shared a note she received from a nurse leader she coaches: “Amy, you have no idea how helpful this is and how much I look forward to our time together.”
Tell us about the competencies? Why focus on these?
“These competencies came from the literature.”  In 2004, the Healthcare Leadership Alliance developed Nurse Executive Competencies that are considered foundational for today’s nurse leaders. They have been revisited and are still relevant.[1]
In 2016, Amy and a small group of content experts[2] convened to identify which of all the competencies would be most impactful for a nurse leader over a career in today’s and tomorrow’s healthcare environment. Their combined experience as Nursing Executives, CEO’s, Chief Integration Officers, COO’s and consultants to large scale organizational change provided them with inside and outside perspectives on the future of healthcare leadership. They identified five competencies they thought were most critical.
Amy briefly described the five competencies.
Resilience — The ability to maintain energy, focus and perspective during high stress, situational ambiguity and insurmountable challenges.

“Yes! the ability to maintain energy, focus and perspective no matter what is going on! The ability to learn quickly and recover quickly from things that go wrong – because they do, and they will.”

Advocacy — The ability to influence, champion, articulate, inspire, and enlist others to do the right thing at all levels.

“…Not just for patients and staff, but for the providers in the organization and the organization itself; really ensuring that the nurse leader is doing the right things for all of these constituencies.  They have to have in depth knowledge of so many disciplines beyond just clinical practice.”

Engagement — The ability to actively apply values of caring and respect, along with skills of communicating warmth and genuine interest in others, to promote trust with individuals and teams.

Leading engagement has become critically important for day to day results.  It is easy for any of us to lose our way.  How do we keep people energized and excited no matter how hard the work is? How do we promote and build trust, appealing to both the heart and head?

Executive Presence – The ability to engage, connect and influence others.

Organizations are experiencing so much change and so many people are involved.  How does a nurse leader establish her own presence in assisting people to becoming engaged? As a leader, how do you stay calm under pressure, maintain curiosity and remain optimistic?

Minding the Gap — The ability to recognize and attend to the dynamic tension between innovation and the untested with high reliability and a preoccupation with failure.

The most interesting one for me is “minding the gap.”  In every organization there is so much that is occurring, so much is untested. How do you balance the untested, the innovation, at the same time as we focus on high reliability? This requires being aware of what can fail, what failure looks like and watching for early warning signs, subtle flags that alert you to potential failure. So individual teams and organizations can respond quickly and move forward.

 Nurse leaders need to be asking questions – such as if we failed in this project, what would have had to happen…so you can back it up – to look at what we need to be paying attention to; having agreement on what we would do, how we would address red flags if they emerged. This does not mean we think we are going to fail, but we are preoccupied with what could go wrong – so we can be timely in response…going back to resilience so you can learn and recover quickly.

What do you bring to the coaching experience?
I am a Certified Executive Coach and Integrated Health Coach with over 30 years of healthcare leadership experience including experience conducting workshops and facilitating individual and group learning to achieve personal and organizational results.
Why is this so important to you?
The biggest reason is that healthcare is in crisis. It impacts all of us. We are all on either side of the healthcare divide…as providers and as patients at any one time. 
How can people learn more about the series?
Click here to visit The Resilient Nurse Leader page at Thunderbird Leadership Consulting.
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[1] American Organization of Nurse Executives. (2015). AONE Nurse Executive Competencies. Chicago, IL: Author. Accessed at: www.aone.org
Accessible at: http://www.aone.org/resources/nurse-leader-competencies.shtml
Stefl, M, Common Competencies for All Healthcare Managers: The Healthcare Leadership Alliance Model. Journal of Healthcare Management. November/December 2008: 360-374.
Gerardi D, Using Coaches and Mentors to Develop Resilient Nurse Leaders in Complex Environments. Voice of Nursing Leadership. July, 2017: 8-12.
Waxman KT, Roussel L, Herrin-Griffith D, D’Alfonso J, The AONE Nurse Executive Competencies: 12 Years Later. Nurse Leader. April, 2017: 120-126.
[2] Dr. Kathy Scott, RN PhD, FACHE, Colleen Hallberg, RN MSN, Amy Steinbinder RN, PhD, NE-BC in consultation with expert colleagues across the country.
 
 

The Butterfly Effect

I was a philosophy major as an undergraduate and for my senior thesis I found myself wrestling with determinism v. free will. Are we on a pre-planned course? Do we have the capacity to change the world? My answer at the time was that everything is in effect determined by all that has come before, that we are on a track rolling toward our destiny, but we still must choose our course based on what we know and feel at the time to be right, and that is, in effect, free will.
So, who would think some xx years later, I’d read a small statement that brought me back to those heady college days.

Butterfly Effect
The scientific theory that a single occurrence,
no matter how small,
can change the course of the universe
forever.

This concept emerges from chaos theory[i] and challenges my notion of determinism.  Chaos theory proposes that in complex systems, small changes can have unpredicted effects.  That is why weather prediction, while getting more accurate, still remains a matter of probabilities… or predicting the stock market, election results, etc. And interestingly, in research, we know that just having an observer can influence the outcome.
So, this got me to thinking about my coaching and organizational development work.  I thought about DiSC™ styles. DiSC™ identifies four different ways healthy people approach the world (in various combinations) as ways we can better understand ourselves and others. One of the key elements it explores is sense of control. Some of us tend to think we control our world (let me lead) and others that we must respond to our world (let me prepare).
Those that think we control our world tend to be action oriented, decisive and fast-paced.  I associated that with the concept of free-will, creating one’s destiny. Those that think we must respond to what the world hands us tend to be more analytical, deliberative and more moderate-paced. I associated that with the concept of determinism, having to accept what happens.
The Butterfly effect suggests that we all have impact whether we are aware of it or not – that how I act or even if I act is a choice that impacts my world. I sometimes feel very small, unimportant and of little value. I can convince myself that whether I take action, donate to a cause, speak up or stand up will make little difference. But the Butterfly Effect reminds me that I what I do or don’t do makes a difference.  We are all interconnected, and our actions matter even when we don’t know it.
Heraclitus stated, “The only constant is change.” This was true some 2500 years ago, and is even more so, now. Our world is complex, rapidly changing, and only somewhat predictable…so let me do as much as I can to prepare (responding to the world) and then step up (creating our destiny) as I need to.
How do I prepare? I keep current on what is happening in my world, in my sphere of influence.  I consider possibilities and probabilities and what resources and actions might be required. I also consider my values, my priorities and sense of purpose so that I base my course of action on what is important.
How do I step up and lead? I use all my preparation to allow thoughtful and meaningful decisions in the time frame that is required.  I avoid knee jerk reactions or being immobilized because I was not prepared.
And I whether I tend to be more action or preparation oriented, I find trusted people in my world who complement my strengths and skills and join me in actions and decisions…without always knowing the results of our actions and decisions. And I accept the fact that the end results may not be what I thought they would be.
In my first career, I was a youth and family counselor.  I provided prevention and early intervention work to middle school students. I met with a group of 7th grade girls to help them adjust to adolescence and middle school. One of the girls never spoke in the group and I wondered why she kept coming and doubted anything we did was making a difference.  Some four years later, I was walking down the halls of a high school when a young woman approached me and called me by name.  It was this same young woman, now a confident and successful junior in high school.  I told her that I was surprised she recognized me and she said something I will never forgot. “I remember everyone who tried to help me.”
So, consider the Butterfly Effect in human behavior as well as in the physical world. Every day we make choices about where we put our energy, how we behave, what we do…and what we think.  We make a difference in our world mindfully or heedlessly.
On November 9th, Thunderbird Leadership will be sponsoring our 12th Annual Leadership Summit, Being on Purpose: Small Enough to Manage, Big Enough to Matter. We’ll be exploring how we can intentionally impact our world from our own little spot on our own little planet.  For more information go to: http://thunderbirdleadership.com/event/12th-annual-leadership-summit-being-on-purpose
“Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences.”  – Eckhart Tolle
[i] For a brief introduction to the Butterfly Effect and Chaos Theory check out: https://www.americanscientist.org/article/understanding-the-butterfly-effect
https://www.forbes.com/sites/startswithabang/2018/02/13/chaos-theory-the-butterfly-effect-and-the-computer-glitch-that-started-it-all/#58b6d90269f6