Harmonizing Workplace Dynamics: The Transformative Power of Community Music-Making

By Nathan Bachofsky, M.Ed.

Embracing community music-making offers a distinctive approach to nurturing a vibrant workplace culture. Beyond typical team-building activities, it fosters cohesion, boosts morale, and enhances well-being while reducing stress. This innovative approach also sparks creativity, fortifies your organization’s image, and deepens community engagement. Supported by research, this unique initiative equips your workforce with essential skills for success, positioning your organization as a pioneer in fostering a harmonious and productive workplace environment. Let’s explore why your organization should consider tuning into the transformative power of music within the workplace.

1. Enhanced Team Cohesion and Morale

Engaging in community music-making fosters a strong sense of team spirit and camaraderie among employees, breaking down barriers and facilitating better communication. A study by Clift and Hancox (2010) on choir singing revealed that group music activities significantly improve team cohesion and morale, enhancing workplace harmony and productivity.

2. Boosted Employee Well-being and Stress Reduction

Music activities offer a creative stress outlet and enhance well-being, essential for reducing workplace burnout. Coulton et al. (2015) found that community singing had a positive impact on mental health and stress reduction, highlighting its potential as a low-cost, accessible intervention for improving employee well-being.

3. Improved Creativity and Innovation

Music making stimulates creativity, crucial for innovation in the workplace. Hanna-Pladdy and Mackay (2011) demonstrated that musical activity enhances cognitive functions related to creativity and problem-solving, suggesting a direct link between music engagement and innovative thinking.

4. Positive Image and Community Engagement

Implementing music programs showcases a commitment to social responsibility, ultimately attracting and maintaining talent. Hargreaves, Miell, and MacDonald (2012) discuss how music initiatives can enhance corporate social responsibility efforts, attracting like-minded talent and customers.

5. Leadership Development and Team Building

Music making is an effective platform for leadership and team-building, promoting essential workplace skills. A study by Southgate and Roscigno (2009) on music education and leadership skills found that musical group activities improve leadership abilities and teamwork, directly applicable to professional settings.

References

Clift, S., & Hancox, G. (2010). The significant effects of choral singing on community cohesion and well-being. University of Music and Performing Arts, 22(3), 323-343.

Coulton, S., Clift, S., Skingley, A., & Rodriguez, J. (2015). The effect of community group singing on mental health: A systematic review. Journal of Mental Health, 24(1), 40-53.

Hanna-Pladdy, B., & Mackay, A. (2011). The impact of sustained engagement in musical activities on cognitive functions in older adults. Age and Ageing, 40(4), 478-486.

Hargreaves, D.J., Miell, D.E., & MacDonald, R.A.R. (2012). Music and social bonding: Benefits of group music activities in building social cohesion. Social Psychology of Music, 42(2), 191-206.

Southgate, D.E., & Roscigno, V.J. (2009). The impact of music on childhood and adolescent achievement. Social Science Quarterly, 90(1), 4-21.

Unlocking Harmony: The Transformative Benefits of Workplace Mediation

By Nathan Bachofsky, M.Ed.

In the dynamic landscape of today’s workplaces, conflicts are inevitable. Whether it’s a clash of personalities, disputes over responsibilities, or miscommunication, workplace tensions can adversely affect employee morale and hinder productivity. This is where the role of a workplace mediator becomes pivotal. In this blog post, we’ll explore the transformative benefits of bringing in a workplace mediator to foster a harmonious and productive work environment.

  1. Early Conflict Resolution

One of the primary advantages of involving a workplace mediator is the ability to address conflicts at their earliest stages. Mediators are skilled in identifying and resolving issues before they escalate into more significant problems. By nipping conflicts in the bud, organizations can save valuable time and resources that would otherwise be spent on prolonged disputes.

  1. Improved Communication

Workplace mediators excel in facilitating open and effective communication between parties in conflict. They create a safe space for individuals to express their concerns, ensuring that all perspectives are heard and understood. Improved communication is a cornerstone for building stronger team relationships and preventing future conflicts.

  1. Preservation of Relationships

Unlike adversarial approaches, workplace mediation focuses on collaboration and finding mutually agreeable solutions. Mediators work towards preserving relationships rather than perpetuating a win-lose scenario. This approach fosters a positive and cooperative atmosphere, allowing employees to continue working together harmoniously.

  1. Cost-Effective Conflict Resolution

Litigation and legal battles can be exorbitantly expensive for organizations. Workplace mediation offers a cost-effective alternative, saving companies substantial legal fees and resources. Resolving conflicts through mediation is often quicker and more economical, contributing to the financial well-being of the organization.

  1. Increased Employee Satisfaction

When employees witness proactive conflict resolution measures being taken, it boosts their confidence in the organization’s commitment to a healthy work environment. Mediation empowers employees by involving them in the resolution process, leading to increased job satisfaction and a positive workplace culture.

  1. Tailored Solutions

Workplace mediators understand that every conflict is unique. They tailor solutions to the specific needs and dynamics of the individuals involved. This personalized approach ensures that resolutions are not one-size-fits-all but rather crafted to address the intricacies of each situation.

  1. Enhanced Productivity

By resolving conflicts swiftly and effectively, workplace mediation contributes to enhanced overall productivity. Employees can focus on their tasks without the distraction of ongoing disputes, leading to improved workflow and a more efficient workplace.

The benefits of bringing in a workplace mediator extend far beyond conflict resolution. Mediation fosters a culture of open communication, collaboration, and understanding, ultimately creating a workplace where employees thrive. By investing in mediation services, organizations not only save costs but also lay the foundation for a harmonious and productive work environment. The transformative power of workplace mediation is a strategic choice that paves the way for long-term success. If you’d like more information regarding our mediation services, reach out to Nathan Bachofsky (nbachofsky@thunderbirdleadership.com).

Your Team May Need a “Reset”: Recognizing the Need for Change

By Nathan Bachofsky, M.Ed.

In the ever-evolving landscape of business and project management, it’s crucial for teams to adapt and grow continuously. Sometimes, however, even the most cohesive and high-performing teams can hit a roadblock or face challenges that necessitate a “reset.” A team reset is not about starting from scratch but rather about recalibrating and revitalizing the team’s dynamics, goals, and strategies. In this blog post, we’ll explore some common signs that indicate your team may be in need of a reset.

New Team Members or Team Growth

Sign: An influx of new team members or significant team growth.

Reason: Team dynamics can shift dramatically when new members join the group. Established routines and communication patterns may no longer be effective. Integrating new team members seamlessly can be challenging, and it may be necessary to reset team expectations, roles, and goals to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Our Tbird Approach: Our experienced, certified facilitators create teaming workshops to clarify roles, image, expectations, responsibilities, and more. Participants learns about their personal and colleague’s DiSC work styles and how to use it to improve communication and understanding. 

New Challenges on the Horizon

Sign: The team faces new, complex challenges or tasks.

Reason: As your organization grows, it’s likely to encounter more intricate problems that require fresh perspectives and strategies. If your team’s existing methods aren’t effective for tackling these challenges, a reset can help you brainstorm innovative solutions.

Our Tbird Approach: Our facilitators are artists at crafting action-planning workshops that not only tap into the collective wisdom of the entire group, but also support the organization in its implementation. 

The Need for Innovation

Sign: Stagnation in creative output or lack of innovative ideas.

Reason: Teams can become complacent, relying on tried-and-true methods that may no longer be effective. If you’re not seeing the creative spark or innovative solutions you once did, it’s time for a reset to reignite that passion for innovation.

Our Tbird Approach: An Innovation Summit made be just the initiative to bring the greater community together to collaborate on new possibilities. Our Creativity Workshop series may also jump start your organization’s creativity to think of new and innovative ways to address needs and challenges. 

Strengthening Team Dynamics

Sign: Erosion of trust, increased conflict, or reduced collaboration among team members.

Reason: Over time, team dynamics can deteriorate due to miscommunication, differing priorities, or unresolved conflicts. A reset can help rebuild trust and foster healthier relationships among team members.

Our Tbird Approach: Our teaming workshops and team retreats can help members to practice team-building activities, open communication where team members can voice concerns and find common ground. Mediation services can also be provided to help manage conflicts. 

Decline in Motivation and Productivity

Sign: A noticeable drop in team motivation and productivity levels.

Reason: When team members lose sight of their purpose or become disengaged, it can have a detrimental effect on productivity. A reset can reignite enthusiasm by revisiting the team’s mission, setting achievable goals, and offering support and recognition.

Our Tbird Approach: Organizational assessments help to identify successes and opportunities for growth. They include 1:1 interviews with leadership, focus groups, and staff surveys. 

Employee Burnout and High Turnover Rates

Sign: Increased instances of employee burnout or high turnover rates.

Reason: When team members are consistently overwhelmed or disengaged, it can lead to burnout and attrition. A reset can help identify and address the root causes of these issues.

Our Tbird Approach: In addition to all of the mentioned above, a Reflect, Rejuvenate & Thrive workshop can help your team focus on their own 

Recognizing the signs that your team may need a “reset” is the first step towards achieving greater efficiency, collaboration, and innovation. Teams that are willing to adapt and evolve in response to changing circumstances are more likely to achieve long-term success. Embrace the opportunity to reset your team’s dynamics and strategies, and watch as it grows stronger and more resilient in the face of challenges. Remember, a reset is not a setback; it’s a chance for your team to thrive in the ever-changing world of business.

Nutrition in the Blue Zones

By Autumn Sisneros, MS, RD, LD, CDCES

Blue Zones are regions of the world where people tend to live significantly longer and healthier lives compared to the global average. These regions have been studied by researchers to identify the lifestyle factors that contribute to longevity. These regions include Ikaria in Greece, Okinawa in Japan, Sardinia in Italy, the Nicoya Peninsula in Costa Rica, and Loma Linda, California (yes, even here in our own backyard). While there is no single factor that can fully explain the longevity in Blue Zones, several common characteristics have been identified:

  1. Active Lifestyle: Physical activity is a natural part of daily life in Blue Zones. People engage in regular, low-intensity physical activities such as walking, gardening, and household chores, which help maintain mobility and overall fitness throughout their lives.
  2. Social Engagement: Strong social connections and community support play a vital role in the longevity of Blue Zone residents. People in these areas often have strong bonds with family, friends, and neighbors, which provide emotional support, a sense of purpose, and a feeling of belonging.
  3. Purposeful Life: Having a sense of purpose and meaning in life is another common trait among individuals in Blue Zones. Whether it’s through work, family, or other meaningful activities, having a reason to wake up each day contributes to mental and emotional well-being.
  4. Stress Reduction: Blue Zone cultures often have built-in mechanisms to manage and reduce stress. Whether through daily rituals, prayer, meditation, or simply taking time to relax and enjoy life, stress reduction practices help protect against chronic diseases associated with prolonged stress.
  5. Moderate Alcohol Consumption: In some Blue Zones, moderate alcohol consumption, especially of red wine, is a cultural norm. The key is moderation—typically, one to two servings per day, rather than excessive or binge drinking, which can have detrimental effects on health.
  6. Limited Smoking: Smoking rates tend to be low or non-existent in Blue Zone communities. This factor significantly reduces the risks of various chronic diseases, including cancer, heart disease, and respiratory ailments.

And last but not least ……….

  1. Healthy Diet: Blue Zone populations typically consume a plant-based diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, and nuts with limited processed foods, saturated fats, and added sugars. See below for a few examples:
    • Legumes: Legumes such as beans, lentils, and chickpeas are a staple in the diets of people in Blue Zones. They are excellent sources of protein, fiber, and various vitamins and minerals.
    • Whole Grains: Whole grains like brown rice, quinoa, and oats are commonly consumed in Blue Zones. They provide sustained energy, fiber, and important nutrients.
    • Healthy Fats: Healthy fats, like those found in avocados, olive oil, and nuts, are a part of the traditional diets in Blue Zones. These fats are rich in monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats, which are beneficial for heart health.
    • Limited Animal Products: While not entirely vegetarian, people in Blue Zones typically consume animal products in small amounts and on rare occasions. Fish is often favored over other meats, and it is consumed in moderation.
    • Balanced Caloric Intake: Blue Zone populations tend to practice mindful eating and avoid overeating. They consume moderate portions of food and practice calorie balance.
    • Herbal Teas: In some Blue Zones, herbal teas made from local plants are consumed regularly. These teas often have medicinal properties and are believed to contribute to overall health and well-being.

It’s important to note that specific dietary practices may vary slightly among different Blue Zones, as they are influenced by local traditions, cultures, and available food sources. Nonetheless, considering the commonalities of the Blue Zones, specifically as it relates to food and nutrition, may help you live your longest and BEST life! Interested in learning more about the Blue Zones and other ways of living a more balanced lifestyle? Join us for our Reflect, Rejuvenate & Thrive event in Cleveland, OH on September 8, 2023. You can find more information and register online at thunderbirdleadership.com/events.

Disability Discrimination: Disabled People are “just People”!

by Marcie McCleary

Wow, I was so excited! This was the first trip I’d taken in a LONG time! And it was a girl’s get-a- way! My best friend and I were flying to Santa Fe to stay with a very good high school friend I hadn’t seen in more than 40 years!

Of course we were all older now. On top of age, I had been diagnosed with a rare neurological disease and was losing the strength in my legs. So, Connie and I planned on using my lightweight, manual wheelchair to get me around the airports and for sightseeing in Santa Fe.

As “normal” as I felt, I soon learned that others did not see me that way.

At the airport, the airline staff responded to me in different ways. Some acted super sweet and concerned, calling me “sweetie” and trying hard to help. Others looked away and pretended they didn’t see me. When we landed in New Mexico, I had an odd experience. The airline attendant in the airport did not talk to me at all. In fact, she acted like I was unable to talk or understand what she had to say. So she only directed her questions to my friend, and asked “are you making a connection or going to baggage claim?” and “do I need to get someone to push her?”  Maybe I’m oversensitive about having to use a chair, but the response of the airline people cast a shadow over my vacation. This experience also made me realize how our society tends to treat people in wheelchairs and/or with physical disabilities in general. 

It seems there are various ways people respond to those with disabilities.  Maybe it’s time to think about this issue. As a recently disabled person, I’ve noticed that some people literally look down at us, choosing to ignore us, or act as if we must have other disabilities, i.e. we’re deaf or mute or mentally challenged, which is usually not the case at all. Others overdo it and treat us like we’re totally helpless children. There has to be a happy medium here. How about acting like disabled people are “just people who happen to have a disability”? Rather than ignoring us or making a huge fuss over us, how about just including us”? And, hopefully, in this time when so much of the world is suffering, how about treating all people warmly and directly?

Like this airline person, I’ve noticed others who seem very uncomfortable around people in wheelchairs. A more recent encounter clearly displays disability discrimination. I was at a medical appointment at a rehabilitation hospital. When I was done, I contacted Lyft to get a ride home.

It took the driver a while to get there and, when he did, he drove by me (in my wheelchair) slowly but did not stop or attempt to talk to me when I tried flagging him down. In fact, he refused to roll his window down or talk to me at all. When the valet approached his car, the driver rolled his window down a little bit and the valet asked him what was going on. The driver said “I might be able to fit her wheelchair in, but I’d rather not give her a ride.” The valet was surprised and asked “are you saying you won’t give her a ride?” The driver said “No, I won’t.” The valet asked him to leave the premises, which he did. This whole experience left me breathless! What had I done to deserve this kind of treatment? The fact that I was at a rehab hospital should have clued the driver in but, clearly, it did not. 

Eventually, another Lyft car showed up to drive me home. The car was about the same size as the previous one, and the new driver had no problem fitting my foldable chair in the trunk. When I got home, I emailed Lyft to tell them what had happened. There was no apology but they did refund the $5 charge for a “missed ride” and said they would not pair me with that driver in the future!

I don’t know what the solution is, but I do know that our society has a general problem when it comes to dealing with those with disabilities. 

Some suggestions:

  • Don’t gawk at or act afraid of people in wheelchairs or with physical differences. I think most of us with a disability prefer to be treated in the same way other non-disabled folks are treated.
  • If you’re talking to a person with a physical disability, look them in the eye and speak to them just as you would speak to anyone; in other words, don’t make a spectacle of them.
  • If the disabled person is struggling to open a door or move in a crowd, don’t hesitate to offer a hand.

An even larger issue for those of us using wheelchairs is accessibility.

Obviously, there are places (cities, streets and buildings, etc.) that are not accessible for wheelchairs. My experience in Santa Fe brought this issue to the surface. As an older, very historical town, the streets, sidewalks, and curbs were hard to navigate, and my friends had to help me. 

I think accessibility in new construction is paramount. Steps, narrow entryways or hallways, heavy doors, and high elevator buttons are usually too difficult for us to deal with. Restaurants with all booths, high bars, or tight seating need to think about how they can make their facility more inviting and approachable. 

Lastly, I would just say I think our society as a whole needs to be kind and inclusive of everyone, no matter our situation or differences.

The Winding Road

It sounds so simple, but no one had ever told me: The road is winding and wide. I wasn’t aware because most people I knew pursued only one road: The Straight and Narrow. I don’t mean ‘honest’ and ‘moral’ here. I mean ‘straight’ and ‘narrow’– the complete opposite of ‘winding’ and ‘wide’.

Here in Cleveland, we joke that there are only two seasons; winter and construction. You always have to be ready with an alternative route. You can almost never take the most direct path. You must first go south before you can go west, or a little east before you can go north. And don’t forget about rush hour traffic! You’re in it for the long haul. Luckily, there are multiple ways to get to where you’re going.

During a challenging health journey in my late 20s, I began to examine my life more deeply than I ever had up to that point. I felt as though I was headed in the wrong direction, particularly with my career and my life’s dedication. I yearned to be creative again, like I was when I was younger. I wanted to make beautiful creations, important calls-to-action that people admired and felt moved by. I wanted to inspire others with my passion and energy. I felt I knew where I should be, where I always wanted to be, but that place was somewhere on the other side of town. It was a place I was very unfamiliar with, and quite frankly, terrified of.

And so I began to talk with someone about my struggles. The more I spoke about it, the more aware I was of the panic bubbling up inside of me. I was operating on autopilot. I wasn’t engaged or enthusiastic about the work I was doing. I felt undervalued and overworked. I felt disappointed in myself for not having a clearer direction for my life, a more solid plan. I chastised myself because I had allowed this to happen, and now, nearly ten years into my career at that point, I felt trapped and confused. Was this ever really what I wanted to do? What about all the years of education I went through? The degrees I earned? The time I’d already invested at my workplace? It all seemed like a big waste. 

Through my sadness, my therapist offered this simple but impactful perspective: Life is not a straight and narrow path. It is a jagged and twisty, multi-lane roadway, full of construction and bus stops. It is a series of onramps and offramps, and sometimes you have to go far out of your way to get back on track. Sometimes you are driving with poor visibility, and sometimes you’re driving through clear skies with the top down. But you are always moving. Even if you stop momentarily, life beckons you to hit the gas once again. 

I spent a lot of time with this analogy. I thought about what it meant to view my life as a winding road. I thought about all the events of my life that I am grateful for, and I began to notice the twisted roads that led me to them. Of course life is not a straightforward path! There are reasons for this, and here are a few I’ve learned from my experience since then.

 

 

1) Life is a series of stops and detours that provides us with feedback on how we are responding and growing as people.

Quite simply put, we do not know what we do not yet know. I like to view my life experiences as a variety of roadside diners. I discover new joints that I love, and others…well, I won’t be coming back for seconds. Use these experiences to fuel change and discover what makes you ‘tick’. By means of detouring and rerouting, I begin to learn my way around town. I discover the bumpy roads, the carefree highways, the heavily patrolled areas, and the places I want to avoid in the future. At 15 years old, I was afraid to drive up that freeway onramp for the first time, but I learned something every time I tried, and it got easier. Learning more about myself and my surroundings has been key to uncovering my personal path and purpose. 

 

2) We may need to have certain experiences that drive us forward, even if they seem counterproductive.

We may not be ready for a particular ‘point of interest’ yet. That is the bottom line. We may have to acquire some skills, be jolted into some serious reflection, meet some new people, or overcome a challenge before we are prepared to arrive at that destination. Even if you feel restless and anxious, this is a process that asks you to honor your current location. This is where you are today, and there is incredible power in that realization. Each twist and turn is teaching you to become a better driver, and you will be better-equipped to handle future roadblocks. Perhaps a new road will open up now that you’re no longer headed south on the old one. In this way, no experience is a lost cause. No credential, skill, or relationship is a waste of time. No seemingly counterproductive event has forever put you in reverse. You are a master navigator! Even as you are reading and reflecting on this post, you are fine-tuning your route.

I’m reminded of an SNL Weekend Update skit where Leslie Jones talks to Colin Jost about Oprah Winfrey’s experience being fired as a young intern. Jost remarks what a mistake it was for those executives to fire Oprah! “No it wasn’t!” Leslie claps back. “…‘Cause she wasn’t Oprah. She was just some 23-year-old punk, who needed to get fired, so she could become ‘Oprah’!” 

 

3) Trust that if we set the destination, life will align the right people and situations to get us there.

Life is a complicated web of connections and networks. We’ve all heard of the six degrees of separation concept. Whether there are actually six is not the point. We can be sure that there is at least one path for every destination we plan for. From a vantage point much greater than any mirror or car camera can provide, you have already initiated a chain reaction that is shifting the tides to make things happen.

I have always had many interests. But since I can remember, I always wanted to be a singer and songwriter. There was one problem: I was terrified to put myself out there for people to hear. Over the years, I gradually turned my back on my love of music. Quite some time later, I decided I owed it to myself to forge down that path once again and take a look around! In the last three years, I have now performed many times for an audience, but I had to get through a few hazardous conditions before I could open up. Some were even completely unrelated to music! My original plan had me arriving at my destination really early. Improperly early. It was in my best interest to slow down and take the scenic route. I began to notice the parts of my previous career that had prepared me for an audience. I noticed the new experiences I was having that were encouraging me out of my shell. I noticed the unique and fun moments I was having as a result of this new route–ones I would never have dreamt possible.

I know that it may take you, as it has taken me, some time to get used to this winding road. We are prodded down narrow paths, raised with absolutes, and told it’s ‘my way or the highway!’ We begin to neglect our own navigation system, and we forget who is driving the car.

76-year-old American actor, singer, dancer, and director, André De Shields, offered this piece of advice during his first Tony Award acceptance speech in 2019: “Slowly is the fastest way to get to where you want to be.” So let’s try not to be anxious drivers. The pace and course of your journey has been designed specifically for you. If it feels misguided or too slow, take a deep breath, and stay curious about your surroundings. Ask yourself what you are meant to learn at this time. Find out what is working and what isn’t working for you. Reach out and ask for directions. Discover how you will do things differently next time. If the traffic is too noisy, roll up the windows and put on your favorite playlist! If we settle into the moment, we allow the next turn to reveal itself. 

Above all, remember that life is a process of growth opportunities. There is more to our stories than just the beginnings and ends. We can be motivated by the destination, or we can be excited about the road trip itself. Afterall, the real adventure is in the winding detours.

 

Curb Your Complaining

by Dr. Carla Rotering

 

“The only thing complaining does is convince other people that you are not in control.”– Unknown

There’s an old saying that “misery loves company” – and over the last couple of years, things may feel pretty miserable to many if not most of us.  It seems a natural extension to transfer what we experience into the act of complaining.  

Complaining and connecting with those who share our disturbance not only provides some emotional release but it also creates a place of belonging. Who doesn’t want to spend time with people who “get” what we are talking about – who notice the same miserable things we do, push against the same miserable boundaries we do, and complain about the same miserable details that we do?   We become misery buddies, an exclusive club of complainers, operating with the belief that we are bonding and validating one another through our shared complaints.  

We are inherently social beings, and as humans we have the capacity for neuronal mirroring.  Mirroring happens when mirror neurons in the premotor cortex area of your brain respond to an observed behavior or mood of another person as if YOU were actually engaged in that behavior or mood yourself!  So rather than finding comfort and relief, as we unconsciously mimic moods and behaviors, we actually deepen our misery and ultimately habituate the practice of complaining.  That habit of complaining doesn’t make anyone happy.  And you don’t even have to be the complainer!!  Studies show that 30 minutes of LISTENING to someone complain impacts our health and wellbeing just as much as BEING the complainer for that 30 minutes.  The average person complains between 15 – 30 times a day, according to Will Bowen, author of “A Complaint-Free World”.

Have you ever heard the saying “Neurons that fire together wire together”? Neuroscience tells us that repetitive complaining, like any repetitive behavior, re-wires our brains so that the neurons branch out toward each other to create a more permanent bridge, making future complaining more likely.  Over time, it becomes easier to be negative by defaulting to this now-established neural pathway than it is to be positive, which would require the creation of a new pathway – and that holds true even when what is happening around us changes for the better!  

Mission.org explains this phenomenon perfectly:

“The more you complain about things like flakey friends or being asked to push up a project’s 

deadline, the more neurons in your brain stitch themselves together to easily 

facilitate this kind of information. Before you know it, complaining becomes so 

easy for your brain to grasp, you start doing it without even consciously registering

the behavior.”

A Stanford University study using high resolution MRI’s found that complaining or listening to complaining can result in actual damage to our brains by shrinking the hippocampus.  Equally concerning, chronic high cortisol levels, besides triggering our flight-or-fight response, are now thought to damage the hippocampus in the same way.   The hippocampus is an area critical to memory formation, learning, emotional regulation and problem solving.  It is also one of the primary areas of the brain destroyed in Alzheimer’s Disease.

Who wants that???  And what can we do to shift?

Here is a summary of tips offered by the Cleveland Clinic to interrupt the habit of complaint – whether you notice it in yourself or your peers, friends, family:

  •  Look at the big picture – will this really matter in 5 minutes/months/years?  If the answer is “yes” see #5
  • Ask yourself if this IS the issue?  Is “this” (whatever it is) really pushing your buttons or is there something going on that is deeper, harder, more personal.
  • Make it a game!  Wear a bracelet or rubber band around your wrist – and every time you notice yourself complaining (even silently) shift it to the opposite wrist.  The goal is to keep your rubber-band bracelet on the same wrist for longer and longer periods of time.
  • Share legitimate concerns in the right time and place – not on social media, not in a public hallway or shared space.
  • When something really matters, share your concern in a way that is seen as helpful rather than critical. Be a part of the solution!
  • When you offer a valid complaint, start and end with a positive statement. When we start with negative words, no one can hear anything else we say. When we end with negative words, no one can remember what we said before.  This sandwiches your concern between caring statements– and makes all the difference to others and to YOU!!
  • Practice gratitude.  If negativity has become a habit for you or those around you, noticing one small thing daily for which you are thankful can begin to forge a new, positive neural pathway!!

Our invitation to you is to experiment with a “no complaint day” – and see what happens to your energy, your mood, your level of contentment and satisfaction.  

And if you like it, start building new neuronal bridges!!!

 

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-stop-complaining-7-secrets-to-being-happier/

https://news.stanford.edu/pr/96/960814shrnkgbrain.html

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6616250/

https://www.southernliving.com/news/complaining-changes-your-brain

https://m1psychology.com/complaining-is-bad-for-your-brain/

The Imposter Syndrome – How to shift your self-doubting thoughts

Yikes!  Surely, someone is going to recognize I really am not that smart, that I have been lucky – in the right place at the right time. How long will I be able to keep this secret?  Can my family, friends, and colleagues see the real me? Yes, I have accomplished a great deal, but truly, it has all happened by chance.

These types of thoughts are common for professionals who are experiencing Imposter Syndrome, a phenomenon first identified in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes.

I recall going through my professional life and believing my opportunities and achievements resulted from what I called the “Mr. Magoo phenomenon”. If you aren’t familiar with this nearsighted cartoon character, let me explain. Mr. Magoo had a TV series in the 1960’s. His extreme nearsightedness led him into harrowing predicaments, yet always, just in the nick of time, Mr. Magoo would take the right action that would lead him to his desired outcome.

Well, I felt my career was a lot like Mr. Magoo. I would find myself not knowing which direction to take in my clinical career, in different leadership positions, and even in academic pursuits. But just as I was feeling most confused, a great option presented itself and the choice was made. As each of these “lucky” occurrences reinforced my belief in mitigating circumstances rather than my own talent, abilities and experiences, the notion of being an imposter was confirmed.

Research is replete with information on the Imposter Syndrome. In fact, did you know more than 70% of us experience feelings of being an imposter at some time or another? There are many highly accomplished people who admit they too have felt like an imposter. Maya Angelou, a three-time Grammy award winner, Tom Hanks who appears in more than 70 films and John Steinbeck a literary giant – all shared something in common at times during their careers –  they described themselves as feeling like frauds. However, they were able to overcome these doubts to have amazing, successful careers.

So, what can the rest of us do to overcome imposter syndrome paralysis when it happens? I asked two of my colleagues at Thunderbird Leadership Consulting to share their wisdom and useful tips to navigate the perils of imposter syndrome.

Carla J. Rotering, a physician, coach and consultant, takes the approach of embracing the self-doubt.

Carla J. Rotering

Carla J. Rotering

“Imposter syndrome is nearly a universal phenomenon regardless of the ‘outer image’ we may see in others. Nearly everyone has almost certainly felt like a fraud at some point. It’s what we do, and it often creates the fear of being ‘found out’ and exposed. There are lots of suggested ways to manage that fear. I personally use a way that at first may feel a little harsh – and yet it is the thought that has proven the most useful for me.

“What if I simply say it is true? I am an imposter. We are all imposters. There is a standard out there somewhere called ‘perfect’ and that is the bar we have set for ourselves. But we are not perfect, any of us. The human condition is simply imperfect by definition. Any claim of perfection is therefore fraudulent.

“When I can recognize that – without judgment, but just with awareness of that FACT – I can tap into a more authentic, humble self. I can use my ‘imposter’ moment as a springboard to growth, learning, and fresh thought. I can let my ego off the hook and alleviate my own suffering and shame. I can lay that useless emotion aside, and then I can acknowledge what I don’t know, ask for assistance when I need it, and lean into the well of information, wisdom, and knowledge that will allow me to grow closer to that bar to which I aspire.

“I can realize I am human – that I am and (hopefully) always will be a work in progress.”

When Nathan Bachofsky experiences Imposter Syndrome, he turns to mentors to seek a reality check.

“I have wrestled with Imposter Syndrome at many points throughout my career and still experience relapses from time to time. A few years ago, I made a transition into a new role that required more of me in terms of leadership and responsibility. There were many challenges that came with this transition that left me feeling like maybe I was not ready or enough.

Imposter Syndrome Quote

I found great comfort in the counsel of my trusted mentors. It helped immensely for me to open up about my challenges to then hear an esteemed mentor in my field say, ‘Oh yes, I felt that way many times,’ or ‘I am still waiting for someone to realize they hired the wrong person’ I thought, ‘Wait, THEY went through this? But they are so confident and successful!’

“We can shine a light on the darkness of Imposter Syndrome through the vulnerable act of sharing our experiences with others and reinforcing the notion that no one is alone in this feeling. I have found my experience with Imposter Syndrome to ebb and flow, but by talking openly about it and maintaining positive affirmations, my relapses can be drastically shortened.”

If you or any of your colleagues are experiencing feelings of being a fake or being lucky in your achievements, know that you are not alone and that you too can shift your thinking. If you’d like to talk to one of our team at Thunderbird Leadership Consulting, please feel free to reach out to us at info@thunderbirdleadership.com

To Develop Good Judgment…

Did you make any decisions for the new year? In our last blog Rory offered a reflective approach using four questions as a guide to help readers act to create a meaningful 2020. In thinking about decisions to act, I came across an interesting article about good judgment [1] by Sir Andrew Likierman. [2] The author and others contend that even though we may think we have all the information in the world, if we do not have ‘good judgment’, our decisions can be doomed.
Likierman offers this definition of judgment: the ability to combine personal qualities with relevant knowledge and experience to form options and make decisions. Judgment is at the “core of exemplary leadership” according to Noel Tichy and Warren Bennis in their book Judgment: How Winning Leaders Make Great Calls [3]. They believe that judgment calls are the single marker of leadership.
To me, making a judgment as a process is clear, but the qualitative aspect of good judgment seems muddier, especially since the outcome of that judgment can often be seen as good or bad, depending on the viewer. I remember my father telling me that I obviously lacked good judgment when as a teenager I did something he didn’t like. . .  I missed my curfew because I had to find someone other than the boy I came with to the party (now inebriated) to drive me home. I thought my judgment was pretty good. He disagreed.
Likierman’s article, based on interviews with CEOs and leaders from a broad range of companies, lays out six fundamental leadership practices that are at the heart of good judgment: learning, trust, experience, detachment, options and delivery. He concludes each practice with suggestions for how to improve it.
As you review these practices and recommendations, I invite you use them as an assessment. How do they apply to you, to your organization or community group, perhaps your colleagues?

  • Is there a recent decision that did not turn out as you expected, in spite of your being as thoughtful and prepared as possible?
  • Are you struggling with how to create a culture where diverse opinions are truly sought and welcome?
  • Does your organization suffer from a bias for quick action rather than good judgment?
  • Could your hiring process benefit from a makeover?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, we’d love to hear from you. Contact us at 602-538-2548 or 602-615-1192. We have the skills and experience to assist you on your journey.

  1. Learning: Listen attentively, read critically

Good listening is at the core of every book and article I’ve ever read about leadership. I’m sure you too can state all the reasons why attentive listening is so important. Likierman makes the point that the listener is really mining for information. Smart leaders, he says, demand quality, press for it even, in the information they receive. Volume isn’t important, in fact it’s distracting in our era of information overload. Is it well-reasoned and clearly explained, are conclusions obvious? He also points out our human tendency to take the written word at face value, rather than consider it with a healthy dose of skepticism.
How to improve listening and reading:

  • Ask deep and thoughtful uncovering questions and consider body language to bring forth what isn’t said.
  • Look for gaps and discrepancies in what we’re learning.
  • Be aware of our own filters and biases. . . do we rely on one point of view, one news or business news source only? Do we know what makes us defensive and likely to reject something uncomfortable?
  1. Trust: Seek diversity, not validation

Examples abound of executives and leaders who insulate themselves by choosing to be surrounded by like-minded people. It is not uncommon for those companies to experience large scale failures, if they are big enough, and failure to thrive if they are small. Though it is comfortable to be with people who share the same world view, that need for comfort should be saved for after hours. It is only in integrating diverse perspectives that we will have access to all the information needed for good judgment.
How to enhance a culture for broader points of view:

  • Cultivate sources of trusted advice.
  • Find people who will tell you what you need to know, not what you want to hear.
  • Seek out different points of view. Ask for them, don’t wait for someone to timidly come forth because they see things differently than you.
  • Learn to evaluate the process of someone’s judgment. Try to discover how someone arrives at a decision and action as well as a project’s outcomes.
  1. Experience: Make it relevant but not narrow

There is much to be said for hiring someone who has a lot of experience in your industry, but make sure there is breadth to it as well as depth. Someone who has years of experience in a fairly narrow niche, for example, out-patient surgery, may find themselves making “easy” judgments out of habit, or overconfidence or familiarity.
How to improve the experience factor:

  • Evaluate your own past experiences honestly in making good and bad judgments. Review those situations to see what else you can learn.
  • Recruit a smart friend who can look over your shoulder and be a neutral critic.
  • Work to expand the breadth of your own experience.
  1. Detachment: Identify, then challenge biases

The skill of detachment is a difficult one to master because it requires us to set our egos aside and remove any personal connection to a particular outcome. Acting with detachment is easier if we are able to understand and address our own biases.
Some ways to improve detachment:

  • Understand, clarify and accept points of view different from your own.
  • Try out role plays and simulations, letting people take on different perspectives to see what they learn.
  • Support leadership development programs; they broaden exposure to leaders with different thinking, experiences and points of view.
  • Assume that mistakes will occur. Plan for them.
  1. Options: Question the solution set offered

The author makes the point that even though you might be offered two options to choose from, often as not there are more options that haven’t even been considered. There are always more. Not taking action is an option as well as delaying a decision. It is important to explore as many options as possible and try to surface the unintended consequences of each.
Improve your options:

  • Press for clarity on poorly presented information, challenge it if information is missing.
  • Be aware of two risks associated with novel solutions – stress and overconfidence – and mitigate them if possible through piloting one or two before full implementation.
  • Understand that people often have personal stakes in an outcome. Try to figure that out and factor in others’ biases.
  • Be aware of the rules and the ethics that will bound a good judgment.
  1. Delivery: Factor in the feasibility of execution

You can make all the right choices but lose out if you don’t exercise judgment in how and by whom those decisions will be carried out. What are the risks of half-hearted or poorly thought out implementation plans? Likierman points out that people with flair, charisma, creativity and imagination may not be in the best position to deliver the results you seek.
Ways to improve on the good options:

  • Make sure the people you choose to implement have the type of experience that closely matches up with its context.
  • Seek out ideas from your team about what might cause a proposal to fail.
  • Do not let yourself be pressured by an arbitrary timeline if you don’t have the right implementers.

There is a lot to be learned about the science and art of leadership. If, as Tichy and Bennis claim, judgment calls are truly the single mark of a leader, looking for ways to turn our OK judgments into good ones is well worth the effort. If you made some new decisions for 2020, reviewing and following the points above could strengthen your results. . .  Good luck! And give us a call if you’d like to discuss your situation and how we can assist.
PLEASE NOTE: We are making some improvements to our website in February. Look for the return of our blog in March.
[1]https://hbr.org/2020/01/the-elements-of-good-judgment (accessed 1/14/20)
[2]Sir Andrew Likierman is a professor at London Business School and a director of Times Newspapers and the Beazley Group, both also in London. He has served as dean at LBS and is a former director of the Bank of England.
[3]Tichy, Noel and Bennis, Warren. 2007. Judgment: How Winning Leaders Make Great Calls. Penguin Group.

Tip of the Month, December 2019 – Reflections II – TIPS from this year’s Summit

Jill began to highlight the events at this year’s Summit in her last post. I thought I’d format the second part of our Summit reflection as TIPS.  What did we learn, what can we take away?
I really appreciated the balance of evidence-based information as well as the exploration of personal renewal at this year’s Summit. Here are some highlights.

  • When dealing with multiple generations in the workplace, first and foremost, see your employees as individuals.

Dustin Fennell talked about managing multiple generations in the workplace and ultimately concluded that we are not that different after all.  He emphasized a wise, long-standing leadership practice: see your employees as individuals, learn about them – what excites them, motivates them and affirms them, and use that information to support and encourage them. His personal strategy is to:

  1. Value each employee’s perspectives, talents, experiences, ideas and uniqueness
  2. Make caring visible through your presence, your appreciation and your acknowledgement of their feelings
  3. Provide them with something to believe in – provide vision, purpose and their part in it
  4. Know what makes each employee tick
  5. Enable their success

I would also add that learning about general tendencies of different generations may help you understand why people approach things the way they do. When people behave contrary to our personal expectations and norms, it is easy to discount them as rude, uncaring, insensitive, unmotivated, unprofessional, etc.  When we understand different cultures, generations, DiSC styles, personality types, etc. we gain insights that can help us override our own personal preferences and assumptions.
So, absolutely yes, to learning about and valuing our employee’s unique needs, drives and perspectives as Dustin recommended…and when you get lost in your own assumptions, you might want to research how someone might see things another way.

  • Confidence and self-assurance are critical to success. How they present may be gender linked. There are strategies to strengthen one’s confidence and self-assurance.

Mara Windsor presented on issues of confidence and gender and brought compelling research that suggests that women may not be as confident as men because of differences in genetics. Check out The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. Whether confidence is genetically or socially influenced (or both!), there are things we can do to strengthen our sense of confidence.  Her suggestions include:

  1. Know that you are not alone – find safe places to share your concerns about confidence.
  2. Stop attributing your success to luck.
  3. Take credit for your accomplishments.
  4. Don’t get caught up in perfectionism (over-preparing, over-rehearsing)
  5. Take action, take risks, fail fast and keep going!
  • We choose how we respond to situations and people’s actions.

Another theme emerged numerous times during the Summit recognizing that we have the ability to manage our emotions and reactions to things…nothing “makes us” angry. We interpret input and choose how we respond.  This message came through in our “café conversations,” (brief small group opportunities exploring different themes about leadership) as well as in Noushin Bayat’s presentation about Leading from Within.
I trained as a therapist in a former career life and relate these concepts to cognitive-behavioral therapy. We receive input, interpret it (in a nanosecond) and then respond with feelings.  Several of the groups in our café conversations wandered into that arena.  Colleen Hallberg’s topic stands out as it stated it the most clearly, “It is only information.”  Wow!
Think about meetings where things feel uncomfortable.  Rather than getting lost in the emotion, what can we ask ourselves? What is happening here? What can I learn from this?  I can step back and assess the data I am receiving.  What is it telling me?  When we recognize that we have a choice in our interpretation and response, we are empowered to take control of our role in the situation.
At a previous Summit, Noushin quoted Rumi, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”  Those words continue to resonate in her presentation – finding space outside of right or wrong, win or lose to breathe, reflect and reconnect with what and who is important. As leaders, finding this space and time is essential to our effectiveness.  Noushin’s gentle words belie a powerful way of being.

  • Use an Appreciative Leadership approach to respond effectively to complex work environments by identifying and building on what is working. 

Kathy Malloch provided a preview to her recent work with partner, Tim Porter-O’Grady, on their new approach to leadership.  (We are waiting for the book to come out.)    Some key learnings from Kathy’s presentation include five core strategies of Appreciative Leadership. Consider how you could shift your mindset to be a more appreciative leader and how these approaches could change your organizational culture and results.

  1. Inquiry rather than inquisition
  2. Illumination (strength finding rather than fault finding)
  3. Inclusion (intentional strategies rather than just an invitation to participate)
  4. Inspiration (envisioning a greater future)
  5. Integrity (setting personal boundaries)

Kathy asked a series of provocative questions that are beyond what we can list here.
We’ll continue to share what we learned in future posts.  There was enough to help us plan our 2020 topics!  So, count on us to revisit confidence, generations and appreciative leadership. We really appreciated all the inspiration we received from the day and are already looking forward to next year. Mark your calendars for Friday, November 13, 2020.
We also continue to appreciate the generosity of our participants who contributed over $2,500 in our Silent Auction. Proceeds will be split between the National Alliance to End Homelessness (https://endhomelessness.org) selected by the Summit planning team and the Yarnell Regional Community Center (https://yarnellcommunitycenter.org) selected by a drawing of organizations recommended by our participants.
And finally, I want to recognize the work of Carla Rotering and Kevin Monaco who provided an amazing time of meditation and reflection.  Kevin shared his music with us (https://kevinmonacomusic.com), and I want to conclude our reflections and the year with words from a magnificent poem Carla shared with us during the meditation.  At this time of year, may we all celebrate, reflect and appreciate our own gifts and the gifts of those around us.
From WINTER TREE
For my mother Rosemary
November 14, 1930 – November 14, 1965
Aruba, August 2002.
Carla J. Rotering, MD ©
Is there any way I’ll have enough time or enough courage or enough whatever I need enough of
To take the grace of the ordinary and recognize holiness?
To just come into agreement….
And allow one breath,
One single diastole
To solemnly be splendid?
To magnify the simplicity of my heart that moves and shifts everything into the world of sanctity?
If there is, I’m ready for it.
I’m ready to bring forth my heart, in its small, red roundness
To be pierced with utmost tenderness
And there stand open and revealed
Without the shield of my terrible fears to frighten away the gods.
To stand in the light of who I am
And to sit in the power of my own Presence
For one single moment
Even if everyone….or no one….ever notices.