Category: Coaching Corner

When I first moved into leadership roles, I focused on what many leaders focus on: gaining knowledge, getting results, and accomplishing goals. I believed that if I worked hard, prepared well, and delivered outcomes, I would be an effective leader.

Over time, however, I learned that leadership is about more than what we accomplish. It is also about how we show up, communicate, and affect the people around us.

As I received feedback from colleagues, I began to recognize some of my blind spots. I discovered that good intentions do not always create positive results. Being knowledgeable and competent is important, but effective leadership also requires self-awareness.

Self-awareness is the ability to understand ourselves—our emotions, behaviors, strengths, weaknesses, values, and the impact we have on others. When we lack self-awareness, we may unintentionally damage trust, create misunderstandings, or reduce our effectiveness without realizing it.

One thing I have noticed is that I am naturally more self-aware when I am in a new situation, meeting new people, or facing unfamiliar challenges. In comfortable, familiar settings, I have to work harder to stay aware of how I am showing up and how I affect others.
Researcher and organizational psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich describes two types of self-awareness:
Internal self-awareness is understanding:

• Your values
• Your motivations
• Your strengths
• Your weaknesses
• Your emotional triggers
• Your goals and aspirations

External self-awareness is understanding:

• How others see you
• The impact of your words and actions
• How your leadership style affects others
• Whether your intentions match your impact
• The feedback you receive

Both forms of self-awareness help leaders make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and create more positive outcomes.

Ways to Strengthen Self-Awareness

Take Time to Reflect
Before or after important conversations, meetings, or events, ask yourself:

• What was my intention?
• How did I show up?
• What emotions was I experiencing?
• What impact did I have on others?
• What would I do differently next time?

Reflection helps turn experience into learning.

Pay Attention to Yourself
Throughout the day, notice your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Ask:

• What am I feeling right now?
• How am I reacting?
• What behaviors are helping me succeed?
• What habits might I want to change?

This practice helps identify patterns that might otherwise go unnoticed.

Seek Feedback
Feedback is one of the best ways to discover blind spots.
Consider:

• Asking for feedback after meetings or projects
• Using surveys or quick check-ins
• Reviewing employee engagement data
• Talking with trusted colleagues
• Working with a coach or mentor

Remember, feedback is information that can help us grow.

Be Present
Self-awareness increases when we are fully engaged in the moment.
Try:

• Slowing down and taking a few deep breaths
• Listening to understand rather than to respond
• Paying attention to verbal and nonverbal cues
• Staying curious about what others are experiencing
• The more present we are, the more aware we become.

Practice Self-Compassion
Learning about ourselves can sometimes be uncomfortable. When you receive difficult feedback or recognize areas for improvement, respond with kindness rather than harsh self-criticism.

Self-awareness is not about being perfect. It is about learning, growing, and becoming more effective over time.

Final Thoughts

Developing self-awareness takes practice, patience, and a willingness to learn. The more self-aware we become, the better able we are to lead with intention, humility, authenticity, and compassion.

In the end, leadership is not only about achieving results. It is also about understanding ourselves well enough to bring out the best in others.

Further Reading

• Insight by Dr. Tasha Eurich
• The Self-Aware Leader by John C. Maxwell
• Optimal: How to Sustain Excellence Every Day by Cary Cherniss and Daniel Goleman

Author:
Audrey Bohanan, MHR, BA
Executive Coach

---

Shared from JUNE 2026 Issue of Thunderbird Leadership Consulting ELEVATE – Tbird’s Hub for Practical Leadership Insights.

---

Click on ‘Subscribe Today’ below so you can be a part of Thunderbird’s email community and never miss our monthly ELEVATE edition!

Some of the biggest constraints on leadership effectiveness are the ones we no longer see.

Most leaders do not struggle because they lack intelligence, commitment, or skill. They struggle because they are still operating from beliefs that once helped them succeed but no longer serve them at their current level of leadership.

In complex environments such as healthcare, higher education, and nonprofit organizations, pressure is constant. Over time, leaders often internalize rules such as:

• “I need to be involved.” 
• “I can’t make a mistake.” 
• “I need it done now.” 
• “I can’t say no.” 
• “If I don’t hold it together, others will lose confidence.” 

These beliefs make sense. They are often rooted in responsibility, urgency, care, and a desire to do right by others. Earlier in a career, they may even have contributed to strong performance and advancement.

But as leadership scope grows, the beliefs that once created success can begin to create strain. What once looked like dedication can become overinvolvement. What once looked like high standards can become overcontrol. What once looked like steadiness can become isolation.

That is why leadership growth at this level is often less about adding new skills and more about examining the internal assumptions driving your behavior under pressure.

A few questions to consider:

• Which of these beliefs shows up most for you when the stakes feel high? 
• Where might it be limiting your effectiveness or your team’s growth? 
• What is it costing you, your team, or the work right now? 

Choose a Different Move

If you feel you need to be involved, you may become the bottleneck.
Try this: Delegate one decision fully and step back. You might say, “I trust your judgment on this. Please move it forward, and let me know if you run into a major obstacle.” Sometimes the growth opportunity is not for your team, but for you.

If you feel you cannot make a mistake, you may overcontrol decisions.
Try this: Invite challenge before declaring direction. For example, “Before we finalize this, what am I missing?” or “What concerns do we need to surface now?” That simple move often creates better thinking and signals that honest input is welcome.

If you feel it must be done now, your team may begin to operate in urgency rather than clarity.
Try this: Slow one decision down and create a little space. You might say, “Let’s take 24 hours and come back with the risks, tradeoffs, and implications.” Not every important decision needs speed. Many need thought.

If you feel you cannot say no, your focus may become diluted.
Try this: Decline one request that does not align with current priorities. For example, “This matters, but I can’t give it the attention it deserves right now,” or “I’m not the right person to lead this.” A well-placed no protects what matters most.

If you feel you must hold it together, you may become isolated.
Try this: Share one appropriate uncertainty. You might say, “I do not have the full answer yet, but here is what I know and how I’m thinking about it.” Leaders do not build trust by projecting perfection. They build it by being steady, honest, and clear.

Then pay attention.

After you experiment with a different move, notice what changes. What happens in you? What do others seem to notice? What shifts in the team’s response, energy, or ownership?

Leadership growth is not always about doing more. Often, it is about loosening the grip of an old belief so you can lead with more intention, more range, and more trust in others.

Sometimes the next level of leadership does not require a new tool. It requires letting go of an old rule.

Further Reading

• Muriel M. Wilkins, The Hidden Beliefs That Hold Leaders Back, Harvard Business Review, Nov–Dec 2025 
• Brené Brown, Dare to Lead, Penguin Random House, 2018 
• Jennifer Garvey Berger, Unlocking Leadership Mindtraps, Stanford Briefs, 2019

Author: Mary Lockhart, PhD, MS ~ Facilitator and Executive Coach

---

Shared from MAY 2026 Issue of Thunderbird Leadership Consulting ELEVATE – Tbird’s Hub for Practical Leadership Insights.

---

Click on ‘Subscribe Today’ below so you can be a part of Thunderbird’s email community and never miss our monthly ELEVATE edition!